beauty
-noun, plural -ties.
1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).



Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Choices, Choices - Part 3 (Others Can Say, "No," Too)

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I started out this story believing everything that happened was God's perfect (specific) will and it was my job not to mess that up.

Then yesterday I started changing my mind and working in the idea of freewill and how crucial it is to have a choice and the freedom to say, "no."

The kicker to all this is as I started understanding more about how if I was free to make choices about my life I realized that others had equal amount of ability and responsibility to choose as well.  This mattered to me because I no longer believed that God was influencing my or others' every choice and suddenly personal responsibility became a factor.

It is a huge shift to go from living in a bit of paranoia, trying not to "step outside God's will for my life" to experiencing the blessed, refreshing freedom of there not being a wrong decision.

The way I experience my relationship with God now is like I experience my kids when they have a few toys in front of them to choose from.  Red car or blue truck?  I don't have an opinion of which Connor should choose, I am just fascinated watching him figure it out himself.  I love watching him in his joy or frustration of the experience and will gladly advise him if he comes to me for help.  If not, I watch and smile.

The reason I bring up the idea of allowing others to say no is because sometimes others do.  People who have committed to us may be saying yes with their mouths and no with their actions. By ignoring the pain of that experience it only causes us to run inside ourselves and live in a false reality.  It did for me, anyway.

So as I end this 3-part series on choices, these are the truths I cling to:

  • God loves me by allowing me to choose him...or not
  • Others are free to be in relationship with me...or not
  • Actions speak louder than words and ideals
  • One of the greatest things I can teach my children is that they accept responsibility for their choices
  • It doesn't help anyone to shield someone from the consequences of their choices
Posted by Unknown at 23:01
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2 comments:

Brianna said...

Always like reading about what you have to say Allison :)

17/9/11 17:17
JeremyNSunny said...

Had to post a quick "applause" for your three-part series. Thank you for sharing, Allison. You're spot on, and your way of saying things clearly is a blessing.

30/9/11 01:01

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