How to be Incognito on Facebook

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Let's be honest, you are not good enough friends with everyone in your friends list (slash the acquaintances who don't have their privacy settings locked down) to stop and have a conversation with them much less make small talk if you happened to run into them on the street, are you?

So of course you'd be flipping through their photos, statuses, blog posts, friends comments just to SEE what's going on and not leave any trace of your presence.

I mean, I get it. No judgment here.



Not to mention those people who just seem that extra bit interesting but since they only post like once a week you can't be THAT person who comments or "likes" everything they post...

Without further adieu, here are my top ten ways to be a cool FB friend:

10. In general, be as vague as possible and provide minimal information on your "info" page.
9. If you're not going to do that at least wear sunglasses in your profile pic.
8. Let it come up in real, in person conversation with them that you "like that photo they posted" or "laughed at that ridiculous comment someone else left."
7. Step out and take the first step initiating a comment or like, but don't continue that trend until it is reciprocated.
6. When you get a reply comment, wait at least a day to respond. A month is better.
5. Forgetting entirely is also effective.
4. Like their comments on the post instead of the post itself (wear sunglasses while doing this for maximum stealth).
3. Rule of 7s...only comment or like something one out of every seven times you feel you compelled to. For some of us that number is more like one in every 77.
2. Wear sunglasses at every moment of every day, including inside your own house.
1. Never, under any circumstances comment on the friend of a friend's photo that you stumbled upon by clicking on a photo of said friend and then browsing through the other person's whole history of albums. (see red box, above)

I will know everyone has taken my advice to heart by the complete lack of comments on this post. (and you think I won't notice...I'm on to you!)