Paradox

What makes a life rich?

Is it luxury? Getting whatever one wants, whenever one wants it? Lack of pain?

I'm going to propose that one of richness' main components is the appreciation for the things around us. When we delight in the small things. When we notice the blessings in everyday life.

I think that's why getting new things is so fun--it ignites that delight, that novelty that we love to experience. I can see why some people get addicted to shopping and in the end don't even care about the stuff. It's all about the initial rush of appreciating something new and different.

I could go on about how important it is to constantly remind ourselves to appreciate what is already around us--be it our spouses, homes, children, fridges full of food, freedom to be Christian, gift of grace and eternal life in heaven. But today this all hit me in a different way.

I opened the fridge to pull out some leftovers for lunch and came across some wrinkly blueberries (as in, needing to be eaten!). So I threw them into the blender with some vanilla yogurt and other frozen berries to make us all smoothies. As soon as Caitlin caught wind of it she could not have been more excited and it really wasn't anything extravagant or new. Even things that are more commonplace, like yogurt, still get a rise out of her. She's so transparent it's easy to recognize her delight in these simple things and as her parent I feel good about the fact that things like smoothies and yogurt make her life rich. She hasn't come to expect lavish gifts and I'm also relearning how to appreciate life's simple pleasures again!

My point is: how wonderful would it be if we could keep the little, everyday things worth getting excited about! Not setting the bar higher and higher and giving our kids more of an expectation of what is worth delighting in vs. "normal" things.

But I still don't think it's quite as simple as that.

We hear alot about the sense of entitlement in our society and if we're going to change that by all means we have to start at home. Even in the little things like smoothies and yogurt. Because in the end I think not having expectations about what one should get (or "deserves") is what makes life rich.

If Caitlin got yogurt every time she asked for it (or whined for it, or grunted and pointed at it, etc), as a parent I could easily feel good knowing I am not depriving my child and am meeting her need. But just wait a minute! It's not her need, is it? It's actually her want and by giving it to her each time I am actually depriving her! Could that be?

I think richness in life is largely related to the perceived specialness of things. If everything becomes normal and Caitlin gets whatever she wants when she wants it (as long as it is in my power to give it to her--which becomes another issue altogether if it's not), then she's going to learn to expect to get her way in life. And her asking for fillintheblank becomes no request at all, but a demand. Saying "yes" to her request becomes nothing special at all but the way life is in her mind.

And although there's some good logic behind explaining parental reasoning to young children in an effort to help them understand, I think it's way overrated and also harmful in the long run (not to mention often ineffective in the short run). We're trying to teach Caitlin that what we say goes, often without explanation. We don't know why our government does everything it does. Or why others do what they do. Or what God's reasoning is for many things. Etc, etc. Why train our young kids that there needs to be an explanation before compliance? I do believe there is a time to begin explaining to children, but I don't think preschoolers need to know "why." The basic principle is this: Authority needs to be respected and in the case of parents and children, trusted.

So let's keep life rich for our children by teaching them to respect our "no"s (starting with us following through and enforcing them!) so our "yes"s actually mean something special. Let's not only bless our children but our society as well as we teach the next generation to acknowledge boundaries, celebrate the "allowed to"s, and most of all let go of this sense of entitlement and regain a hold on respecting authority.

Tis a rich life indeed when things like smoothies are all that's needed to make a day great.