Slowly but surely all the great unknowns of our move back to North America are being revealed. Grady found a job (albeit he's a little uncertain if the company will last being that it's a startup), we just bought a second car, Caitlin and I have somewhat of a regular weekly routine, I'm able to find my way around Rochester pretty good...etc etc. But it's hard that a couple of the biggies are still up in the air.
The most pressing deadline is finding a place to call home. May 1st draws ever nearer and day after day it seems that our success in finding a house doesn't. It's like finding a job: doing your research to find what ones you might potentially like, taking the time to apply (looking at the homes), and then just waiting to "hear back", or in our case with house searching, waiting to walk into one that suits us. It's also just as discouraging as being "out-interviewed" by someone with a couple extra qualifications when we even make it to putting an offer in only to be "out-bid." This has happened twice on homes we really felt were a super combination of amenities and size, location and price. Sooo frustrating!
Equally, if not more important is with which church family we will end up with. We have visited a few and not having been here for very long have yet to build relationships beyond the "Hi, how are you?" stage. This causes the most uncertainty in my heart right now--not having the deep and meaningful Christian support and friends nearby that would be so great to lean on as we deal with everything in adjusting to this new place and time in our lives.
So all I can do in this time is try to trust God a little more each day and have faith that he will come through for us, even if it's not in the way I expect and am praying for him to. Wow, but sometimes it's just so hard in each moment, y'know? I often don't even realize my lack of faith until after the fact when confusion/stress/exhaustion kicks in.
As I turn 26 I want to confidently turn my face toward the Father, stretching out my arms to receive his comfort and certainty. Oh Lord, do I ever need you to strengthen my faith today! May my eyes be opened to know more of who you really are this year.
5 comments:
I'm sorry that things are so frustrating lately... uncertainty is SO hard. I've been experiencing a bit of it myself lately (altho not quite on the same level as yours). But I know that everything will work out even better than you could have planned. God's good like that. Hang in there, my friend :) I love you!
hey allison - praying for you! sometimes being a grown up can be super frustrating. i hope things start to fall into place for ya! - Rachel
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6
Allison,
I thought this verse might help you. Tell your beautiful family hello for us!
Eric and Jen
Hey girl! I hope you had a good birthday, even though things around you are stressful. I can actually say, I totally understand!! But things WILL work out in some way.....you won't be living on the streets! :) God has a plan.
For the most part, I just have given our uncertainties to God, but every once in a while the anxiety sneaks up on me. But like you, I am just trying to put my trust all on Him.
you are in my prayers! Love ya!
Allison, I'm so glad you can share your feelings.
Quick thought on the church search. I was talking to someone today from Verviers (not far from us) about how strange it was for us when we visited last summer in the States. To think that you have a choice of where you would attend! (In Abilene it's practically obscene!) The point is: God can and will use you wherever you go, if YOU allow Him to do just that (assuming that your choice is among 'good' churches). So... choose and jump in, trusting God to start using His power in helping you to grow. Otherwise you are simply starving yourself (and others of being with you and being touched by you).
"I be rush fib!" (what I make out of the word verification today)
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