Happy Canada Day, Everyone!

In light of Canada turning 138 years old today, I have attached my favorite Canadian "rant" and then a particularily entertaining article down below. Oh and the pictures are reassurance that although I find myself way over here in Europe this July 1st, I am still finding ways to express my Canadian pride! "I am, y'know I am, I am Canadian!"

my canadian paraphenelia and maple leaf face paint

"Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....

I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

I speak English and French, not American.

And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, not policing,

diversity, not assimilation,

and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,

and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass,

The first nation of hockey,

and the best part of North America!!!!

My name is Joe,

And I am Canadian!!!"

-"Joe Canadian" Molson Commercial

http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ginger ale, zippers among Canada's contributions to the world
Dene Moore, Canadian Press (taken from http://www.canada.com/)

VANCOUVER -- Where would the world be without green garbage bags, zippers and ginger ale?
Canadians have made some wonderful, weird and sometimes dubious contributions to humankind.

Were it not for Canadians, the world would be devoid of paint rollers, snowmobiles and five-pin bowling.

There would be no electric organ, green ink or multiplex movie theatres.

And yes, the recipe for Nanaimo bars comes from the British Columbian town of the same name.

Without Canada, time as we know it would end. Sir Sanford Fleming, a Scottish immigrant to the New World, devised the world's 24-zone standard time system.

"Canadians aren't boring in the least," says Will Ferguson, award-winning author of Canadian History for Dummies and Why I Hate Canadians.

Politically, the country has staked its claim in the "radical middle," he says, but don't let that fool you.

Canadians are diverse, eclectic and eccentric, he says. And pragmatic. Rather than wither in the winter cold, Canadians pulled the toques down over their ears and invented snowmobiles, the electric car heater and the snowblower.

Thank Canada for toboggans.

Canada comes from the native words meaning big village -- much better than Efisga, Tuponia or Colonia. Those names were proposed for the motherland during debates on Confederation.

It is arguably the most ethnically diverse country in the world.

Canada has the highest population of Icelanders outside Iceland and the most Italians outside Italy.

"It's such a culturally diverse and interesting country that has geography and history and people that come from every corner of the globe," says Heritage Minister Sheila Copps. "That's what makes it really unique."

Unique is one way to put it.

Each month in each province there is at least one report of a UFO.

Of all the road accidents that occur in Canada, 0.3 per cent involve a moose. And a Calgary tour company offers a course in igloo building.

Maybe such madness is what makes comedian Rick Mercer feel so lucky to be Canadian.

"I just always feel . . . that we won the Lotto and anyone who was born in Canada or has come to Canada, you won the Lotto," says Rick Mercer, star of CBC's hit comedies Made in Canada and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

"You know, Canadians don't take themselves that seriously, and quite often we're self-deprecating and that's a character trait I admire greatly in an individual and so I admire it in a nation," says Mercer, who will spend Canada Day working on Made In Canada, albeit from a hammock in his back yard.

Canadians may not take themselves seriously, but they do some seriously strange stuff.

Canada holds the world record for the highest stunt freefall for a 1,100 foot plunge from the CN Tower.

The world's oldest snowboarder hits the slopes in Canada. Wong Yui Hoi, of British Columbia, took up the sport at 75 according to the folks at Guiness.

Canadian Jack McKenzie, 77, is the oldest person to ski to the north pole.

Those months spent with scant daylight hiding from frostbite may go a long way to explain some other Canadian, uh, accomplishments.

Canada boasts the longest gum wrapper chain in the world - 10,387 metres- according to the Guiness book of world records, and the most push-ups in an hour - 3,416.

Canadians hold the record for pogo-stick jumping and the largest hug. They baked the world's largest cherry pie, made the world's largest block of cheese and hold the world kissing title for the most couples smooching simultaneously.

Maybe it's not cabin fever, but brain freeze. A 7-Eleven store in Winnipeg sells more Slurpees per capita than anywhere else in the world.

Canadians eat more Kraft dinner and Albertans more Jello. Details were not available on the favoured flavour.

Canadians have such an imagination they try to take credit for basketball and the telephone, says Ferguson.

"They'll claim the telephone as a Canadian invention. Alexander Graham Bell was born in Scotland, educated in Scotland and most of his research took place in Boston . . . but that doesn't matter because he lived in Canada," Ferguson says.

Yet Canada claims basketball because James Naismith was born in Canada, although he came up with the sport while living in the U.S.

But there's no denying that Toronto's Joe Shuster was co-creator of that greatest of American heroes, Superman.

And who else but the first nation of hockey could have invented Plexiglas, the goalie mask or the referee whistle?

Since beer is practically a sport unto itself in Canada, Vancouver's Steve Pasjack came up with those built-in, tuck-away handles for beer cases in 1957.

And women can blame Canada. Montreal's Canadelle company invented the push-up bra in 1964 and Dennis Colonello invented the abdominizer in 1984.

Our greatest achievement?

"I think Canada's greatest achievement is Canada, just the existence of this country, this wildly diverse, huge, rich, quirky, wonderful country," Ferguson says.

© Canadian Press 2004