Just Du It

Nike had no idea how useful this slogan would be.

A challenging aspect of the German language (for everyone, I don't care if you're a 17th generation German) is the controversial du versus Sie dilemma. German is a language packed with political correctness and precision, and the way you address someone who happens to be standing right beside you is no exception. In English we quite simply (but lacking exactness) say, "you"--the second person personal pronoun--which seems to work just fine for our modern day equality-minded purposes. But don't be fooled, in Germany you will still find at least one social fence to hurdle, and you will be called Sie until then.

So when the question came up as Robert and Brenda Stolte, Amy, and I were waiting at the tram stop, I admitted my obvious current "Sie" status with my Hausmeister (landlord). I don't know him well, I mean, we aren't on a first name basis or anything, so I figured those were good grounds for my cause. Amy mentioned she had accidently used "du" with him a couple times, and Robert piped up that he had always used "du" and that we should too. I started in with my rebuttal but he promptly responded, "Oh c'mon, just do it!"

The roar of laughter that followed served to help lighten up my view on this qualifying formality. And so now when in doubt, I think I might just du it.

And for the record, there are actually verbs to represent this difference. If you are my friend and I call you "du," then I am "duzen-ing" you; and likewise with all my "Sie" acquaintances, I siezen them all the time. How ridiculously convenient-!

(For clarification purposes: du is used to address only closer friends and people with whom one is on a first name basis; acquaintances and strangers must always be addressed as Sie. This is the sometimes confusing distinction that I have explained above.)

Hands

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19.
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.
A baseball in Mark McGuire's hands is worth $19 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands.
A tennis racket in Venus Williams' hands is a championship winning.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away a wild animal.
A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toy
A sling shot in David's hand is a mighty weapon.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in God's hands will feed thousands.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will
produce salvation for the entire world.
It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now it depends whose hands it's in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because...

It depends whose hands it's in.

(disclaimer: this thought-provoking excerpt was forwarded to me; I did not write it.)

Ah, MAN!

Last week was my week for trash and since we couldn't cram anymore into the trash cans I figured it was about time for me to take it out. After some struggling I managed to free the bags from the trash cans themselves and slipped on some clogs to carry them outside. I also grabbed the compost (food waste) bag to dump it too. When I exited the apartment building I didn't for one second even attempt to think that in the short time that it would take for me to dump out the compost my Hausmeister (landlord) would also leave to pick up his daughter from Kindergarten and unknowingly close the door that I had left cracked open behind him. It didn't hit me as I looked up from my trash-emptying (we have to empty the bag of compost into the compost bin...no plastic allowed) to watch him walk out to his car and drive away that I would actually be stranded without anyone to rescue me. Much to my disbelief I then realized he had in fact closed the front door behind him, and even the back door which is sometimes open showed no signs of hope. I rang both our neighbors in hopes that someone would be at home, to no avail. I had no key, no phone, no coat, not to mention wet hair...I was actually already getting strange looks from passersby, and I wasn't even out of my yard yet. One can really never wear too many layers here in Germany, but if you don't....uh oh, you're asking for trouble-! I eventually just gave into the fact that I would probably die from my overexposure to the cold or at very best suffer terminally with some deep chested cough and wheeze, accompanied by the occasional sneeze. All there was left to do was get on my bike and ride the ten minutes to the church building, where Amy was working. I knew she at least had a key. Needless to say, by the time I rode there and back (with Amy's coat for warmth on the return journey, thankfully) I noticed my Hausmeister's car parked out front. So maybe I should have just waited? Well, at any rate I made it back inside where my CD was still playing and I (luckily) hadn't been cooking anything on the stove. Mental note: bring key when taking out trash next time!

And for the record I am suffering a sore throat, but it seems to be going away instead of holding on like a serious terminal thing--don't ask me how though, using all logical reasoning I should be deathly ill! Don't try this at home, kids.

Magnificent Autumn

Fall is a catalyst, exposing what the epitome of German culture is to me. As the leaves turn shades of golden yellows, deep oranges, and bright reds, certain aspects of the German people become apparent unlike any other time of year. The wind picks up and dozens of families can be seen kite-flying along the Elbe river. A chill returns to the air causing tall boots and cashmere scarves to burst onto the scene. All styles of jackets that were so unnecessary in the warm summer appear, all uniquely European. The fallen leaves send the clean up crews into a frenzy, raking and leaf blowing everything back into cleanly order. Gutters get swept, sidewalks kept tidy, and leaf-covered paths re-emerge not long after becoming hidden. The heat in apartment buildings is reluctantly switched on by their landlords, but even still, layers and sweaters and thick socks and slippers remain necessities to coziness. It is a time to truly enjoy a warm cup of tea together with friends, whether in a home or café. The sunsets blanket the multicolored hillsides and causing them to glow with brilliance. Perhaps it is more the familiarity that so endears this season to me, but now that the trees are bare and forests a dull grey I excitedly anticipate the next time the green leaves will again break through to autumn.

11

Today marks the beginning of Carnival season in Germany. It is the 11th day of the 11th month, and at precisely 11:11am it is tradition to be eating a Pfannkuchen (aka a Berliner), which is basically a jelly filled donut. Quite tasty, I might add. Carnival season lasts until the end of February and is a time full of parades, costumes and other special events. Happy Fasching!

A Must Read

In my next post I will write about the magnificent German autumn I am experiencing this year (pictures too!). But for now I leave you all with an excerpt from, The Book of Lists, by David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace, a true collection of things you will never need to know. I have, however, found it incredibly entertaining. Viel spass!

29 Words Rarely Used in Their Positive Form
Negative Form------------Positive Form
1. Inadvertent-------------Advertent (giving attention; heedful)
2. Analgesia---------------Algesia (sensitiveness to pain)
3. Antibiotic---------------Biotic (of or relating to life)
4. Unconscionable---------Conscionable (conscientious)
5. Disconsolate------------Consolate (consoled, comforted)
6. Incorrigible-------------Corrigible (correctable)
7. Uncouth----------------Couth (marked by finesse, polish, etc; smooth)
8. Indelible----------------Delible (capable of being deleted)
9. Nondescript------------Descript (described; inscribed)
10. Indomitable-----------Domitable (tamable)
11. Ineffable---------------Effable (capable of being uttered or expressed)
12. Inevitable-------------Evitable (avoidable)
13. Feckless---------------Feckful (effective; sturdy; powerful)
14. Unfurl-----------------Furl (to draw in and secure to a staff)
15. Disgruntle-------------Gruntle (to put in good humor)
16. Disgust----------------Gust (inclination; liking)
17. Antihistamine---------Histamine (a crystalline base that is held to be responsible for the dilation and incresed permeability of blood vessels which play a major role in allergic reactions)
18. Disinfectant-----------Infectant (an agent of infection)
19. Illicit------------------Licit (not forbidden by law; allowable)
20. Immaculate-----------Maculate (marked with spots; besmirched)
21. Innocuous-------------Nocuous (likely to cause injury; harmful)
22. Deodorant------------Odorant (an odorous substance)
23. Impeccable-----------Peccable (liable or prone to sin)
24. Impervious-----------Pervious (being of a substance that can be penetrated or permeated)
25. Implacable------------Placable (of a tolerant nature; tractable)
26. Ruthless--------------Ruthful (full of compassion or pity)
27. Insipid----------------Sipid (affecting the organs of taste; savory)
28. Unspeakable----------Speakable (capable of being spoken of)
29. Unwieldy-------------Wieldy (strong; manageable)

And a quote that made me laugh tonight...
Jack: "We have to talk. You have to leave."
Algy: "But if I leave, how can we talk?"
(from the film The Importance of Being Earnest)

A Cute Little Story Titled, "Germlessny"

Here is a story written by my HIM partner, Amy. She posted it on her blog many months ago, but I figured it needed a re-debut, considering how true it still is. :)

There once was a charming, sophisticating and quite talented young girl named Amy. She was an artist and a really good dish washer. But she was bad at every other chore around the house. She always said it was because she perfected her dish washing and didn’t have time for the other chores. So, she lived in an apartment with dirty floors, broken windows, and rotten food in her refrigerator (only sometimes). She didn’t know how to change this!! But one night she had a dream. In this dream she was told of a far away land called Cananada or something, where the people are wonderful homemakers. They vacuum and mop the floors, fix broken windows, and take out the trash! What a wonder! She had to meet these people and discover their secrets!!!

So, she booked a flight on Dream Air and went to Cananada. She didn’t know a soul in the country but decided to be brave. She said that the first person she met with a name that also begun with the letter A (because all good names begin with A of course), she’d ask them if she could, for one night, conduct an experiment and stay with them in their house. So, as soon as she got of the plane, she just started meeting people. After an hour or so of doing this, she was getting tired and a bit upset that no one had an A name yet! But finally she met a girl named Allison, which in Cananadan means “Good guitarist, pianist, and professional vacuumer”, and presented her proposal. Allison, quite logical in reasoning, decided that Amy didn’t seem to be a terrorist and took her up on her offer. So, they set off for Allison’s home.

As soon as Amy set foot in the house, her jaw dropped. Clean, shiny floors! Spotless sinks! No odor from the trash! It was unbelievable. But then she stepped in the kitchen and could not believe her eyes. Piled a mile high (well maybe less than a mile but really high none the less) was a massive heap of dishes sooooooooo dirty that all the spotless parts in the rest of the house were no longer amazing. She was overwhelmed with grief. Here she was, a champion dish washer, standing in a kitchen of dirty dishes that have never been washed! It made her cry. Allison noticed her distress and asked her what the cause of it was. Once Amy shared her grief, Allison said that the reason was that she had spent so much time perfecting her vacuuming and other talents that she no longer had time to wash the dishes. She just didn’t know what to do.

But Amy did. She had a plan. Here was Amy, a professional dish washer but not so good a vacuuming. And here was Allison, a professional vacuumer along with great trash taker outer, window fixer, bathtub scrubber, etc., but not so great at dish washing. Wouldn’t it be perfect if they just decided to live together and then they could both teach each other how to do the other’s job? What a brilliant plan! She shared with Allison her brilliant plan and she agreed, this was brilliant! (I say brilliant a lot because it really was brilliant!). So, now if you go to a land called Germany, you’ll find Allison and Amy living together in perfect, clean harmony. They teach others their cleaning methods and act as “missionaries to the unclean”. But don’t be fooled. Just because the land of Germany has the word “germ” in it, it does not mean that there are a lot of germs there. It actually means the exact opposite. In fact, I’ve even heard they are thinking of changing the name of the country to Germlessny.

The End

More.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9


The mission field is more than you expect. More everything. No matter how many classes you take, books you read or people you talk to, things will be more in a sometimes overwhelming way. There are more people around. More German words that I don’t understand. More awkward social moments, more to keep clean in my apartment, more cheese to choose from in the grocery store—just more foreign things than familiar. No matter how much I assure myself it’s all under control, there’s always a little more than I can handle and I find myself feeling defeat. Not admitting it, no way! But something’s lurking under the surface, some sensitive, frustrated inkling that seems to spring up at the littlest thing. Where is God in all of this?


But somehow under the canopy of doubt I notice a smile from someone on the tram. A smile! Germans aren’t known for their friendliness. And then by the grace of God I notice more sun and blue sky today, drink more delicious tea, find more opportunities to sing out loud, marvel at more beautiful architecture, and see how a recent friend encourages me more than I ever thought. Aren’t I the one who is supposed to do the encouraging?


And quietly and gently, never barging His way in, God speaks, not to my ears but straight to my heart. Regardless of how I feel, it is when I am weak that I am strong. More everything is on the way and I am powerless until I seek more of Him in me.


“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” -2 Corinthians 9:15

Let’s…Go…Fly…a Kite…

Quote of the day: “That guy must be a professional flite kyer!” -Amy

Summer days have at times seemed too few and far between here in Dresden and now that fall is only a few weeks away and the days are getting noticeably shorter any chance to be outside and enjoy a nice day has become a priority. The past week has been absolutely gorgeous weather and today I felt inspired as I walked by the kite section in our local supermarket and decided to invest a little cash for an amazing potential of fun and enjoyment. I bought one of these fancy two-stringed kites, with one handle for each hand, which advertises many super sly turns and high flying action (by the picture on the front). I was way pumped about my new purchase and easily convinced Amy to be my “launcher” on this fairly breezy afternoon. We headed out to the beautiful open meadow along the Elbe river where I quickly assembled the flying contraption and read up briefly on the unique flying techniques of this previously unfamiliar two-handed model. I mean, the small pamphlet included in the package only had three pictures to describe the simple act of launching so I knew it must be a piece of cake. Well needless to say, after over an hour which included walking further into the middle of the field to maybe access more smooth winds, meticulous synchronizing of Amy’s throw motion and my pulling-while-walking-backwards action, changing directions after realizing we weren’t angled into the wind correctly, almost twisting our ankles from the random holes hidden beneath the ground shrubbery, practically taking out a few people innocently walking their dogs on a nearby path with the uncontrollable swooping…not to mention another boy with a much larger and fancier kite only 100 meters away and seemingly intentionally perfectly landing and launching it numerous times while we struggled to even just launch it upwards and maintain any kind of controlled flight for more than three seconds. In the end we figured there just wasn’t enough consistent wind today, not that it was anyhow related to our lack of kite-flying ability.

Good thing our enjoyment of this wonderful summer day isn’t somehow hinged on our ability to accurately participate in this summer activity. :)

"Euro-English"

proof that some forwards are still worth reading!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in zeh forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Who Says Mountains Aren’t Comfortable to Sit On?

"For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also." Psalm 95:3-4 (ESV)

Last weekend Joerg, Gerald and I piled with Grady into his company car and drove 40 km out of Dresden to find a place to hike for a couple hours. After starting off on a path that was taking us the wrong direction from our desired destination, we trompsed through the woods and eventually found the right route. Not long after we started climbing we came upon these huge rock formations jutting out from the side of the mountain, making for perfect lookout points. At the one we have stopped at for the picture, we had just finished making fresh coffee both to warm us up and give us more energy for the return journey. I was helping to balance the plastic coffee cups on the uneven rock surface when I looked up, and to my surprise noticed Gerald not only sitting on a rock in front of me but also sitting on something that was on top of the rock. Could that be a, a cushion? Believe it or not he had, in fact, packed a cushion in Joerg’s backpack and had whipped it out to enjoy the breathtaking scenery in comfort. I had to laugh a little—I mean what kind of rough and tough woodsy hiker needs a cushion to protect his bottom from sitting too long on a hard mountain surface—but I have to admit, those rocks were hard and I might have sat on it if he stood up. However for the meantime I’m still feeding myself the “I’m a rough and tough woodsy hiker and I don’t need no stinking cushion” line, and since even if I did own one I wouldn’t be too keen on hauling it all the way up to the top of a mountain it’s gonna have to do. Even without a cushion I somehow managed to survive and am even looking forward to our next hiking adventure, wherever it may lead us!

The Price of Lice is Not as Nice as Twice the Spice in Rice

Remember when you were in grade two and some kid found out they had lice and a letter got sent home to your mom telling her to go out and buy special shampoo and comb your hair with one of those super fine-tooth combs that practically yanks every hair out of your head to make sure that a)you hadn’t caught it or if you had, to b) get rid of it ASAP? Well imagine that you are not only out of the second grade but a college grad and living in the most clean/sanitary countries in the world and your head starts to itch. Maybe the climate has been a little drier lately? Maybe you should switch shampoos? I would have never guessed my hair could in fact be infested with little bugs, but alas…

And the definite worst part about getting lice in Germany is that my mom is not here to be the one to comb/yank out my hair and assure me that I will be ok. Being the completely independent and self-sufficient adult that I am, it was me who had to suck it up and comb through my own hair while trying not to freak out by thinking about what was actually living in there-! Despite trying my hardest to recall the past few weeks I still can only guess where and when I must have caught these little creepy-crawlies…it’s definitely not as easy as it was when I was eight and it was obviously in homeroom and probably from Billy.

But not to worry! I think I have conquered this challenge—it only took three bottles of 8 euro strong-smelling solution from the pharmacy. I’m back to feeling rather optimistic about my survival (not to mention my long hair’s…for awhile there I thought I might have to cut it all off)…I’ll keep you posted. I have been assured time and time again (and pass this along to any adult lice-sufferers out there) that it had nothing to do with my hygene or an unsanitary place I had been. Apparently lice are just really good at surviving and aren’t partial as to whose hair to call home next. Not to mention that they much prefer to live in clean hair! So it could really just happen to anyone…doesn’t it make your head a little itchy? :)

Onto a much less squirmish topic: two days ago I was blessed to meet with Natalia, a lady here visiting her son for the summer in Dresden. I spent some time with her learning to cook two surprisingly simple and wonderfully delicious dishes. Natalia is a Christian sister from the Ukraine, where she teaches music history, and she comes for a few weeks each summer to visit her son Dima who is working on his Ph.D. at the University here and also a member of the church. She speaks a few German words and is shy to use the English she knows, but even with our language barrier we were able to communicate effectively enough that now I know how to create a Ukrainian-style chicken/onion entrée and a rice/vegetable side dish. Next time you want to add a little kick to a rice dish just throw in a bit of fresh dill…what flavor! And what flavor is also added to our Christian lives when we are blessed to get to know a fellow believer!

Isn't it Ironic......Don'tcha Think

Ironies I've Noticed Since Living in Germany

Fitness and health are a high priority to almost everyone (walking or biking instead of driving, spending some time outdoors every day, eating fresh foods and rarely "fast-food"), but you haven't seen a piece of buttered bread until coming here where there's not enough butter unless it's been done 3 or 4 times. Not to mention that it seems every third person smokes. *cough*

We sort our garbage, pay more for gas and environment-friendly cars...but then there's the widely endeared Trabant, a GDR manufactured "car" that sounds like a weed whacker and burns more oil than gas.

Tradition is highly valued here in Germany, and it's more evident when talking to people than, say, being here for a traditional celebration like Christmas. But then the government seems to be incredibly liberal, not to mention the ads around town in which seeing a bare bum or topless woman is common.

A few centuries ago religion became systemized, with everyone belonging to either the Catholic or Protestant church by paying a regular church tax and by that having the right to be married and buried there. Despite this widespread "membership" though, sadly only a small minority believe in the dynamic power God has in their day-to-day lives and that he's not just someone waiting to strike them with lightning when they mess up.

Dropping a piece of trash on the ground (aka littering) in one of the parks in Dresden is really unheard of--these areas are clean and stay that way. Unfortunately however, it's very rare to see an owner cleaning up their dog's poop...watch your step. (Not to mention that there's about a dog to every fifth person...a lot of dogs.)

When you buy shoes here, expect to pay more up front but for a really nice high quality pair that are well worth the investment. Germans walk alot, and I get the impression that it's important to take good care of your feet. But then enter latest fashion trend: pointy-toed stiletto heels. You can find a wide selection at any shoe store. How a woman can walk more than 20 steps in those without then collapsing in pain is beyond me, not to mention how she can walk around on cobblestone streets...even I have trouble with that in flat shoes.

And finally, something that makes a bit more sense...
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. (obviously) :)

Happy Canada Day, Everyone!

In light of Canada turning 138 years old today, I have attached my favorite Canadian "rant" and then a particularily entertaining article down below. Oh and the pictures are reassurance that although I find myself way over here in Europe this July 1st, I am still finding ways to express my Canadian pride! "I am, y'know I am, I am Canadian!"

my canadian paraphenelia and maple leaf face paint

"Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....

I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

I speak English and French, not American.

And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, not policing,

diversity, not assimilation,

and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,

and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass,

The first nation of hockey,

and the best part of North America!!!!

My name is Joe,

And I am Canadian!!!"

-"Joe Canadian" Molson Commercial

http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ginger ale, zippers among Canada's contributions to the world
Dene Moore, Canadian Press (taken from http://www.canada.com/)

VANCOUVER -- Where would the world be without green garbage bags, zippers and ginger ale?
Canadians have made some wonderful, weird and sometimes dubious contributions to humankind.

Were it not for Canadians, the world would be devoid of paint rollers, snowmobiles and five-pin bowling.

There would be no electric organ, green ink or multiplex movie theatres.

And yes, the recipe for Nanaimo bars comes from the British Columbian town of the same name.

Without Canada, time as we know it would end. Sir Sanford Fleming, a Scottish immigrant to the New World, devised the world's 24-zone standard time system.

"Canadians aren't boring in the least," says Will Ferguson, award-winning author of Canadian History for Dummies and Why I Hate Canadians.

Politically, the country has staked its claim in the "radical middle," he says, but don't let that fool you.

Canadians are diverse, eclectic and eccentric, he says. And pragmatic. Rather than wither in the winter cold, Canadians pulled the toques down over their ears and invented snowmobiles, the electric car heater and the snowblower.

Thank Canada for toboggans.

Canada comes from the native words meaning big village -- much better than Efisga, Tuponia or Colonia. Those names were proposed for the motherland during debates on Confederation.

It is arguably the most ethnically diverse country in the world.

Canada has the highest population of Icelanders outside Iceland and the most Italians outside Italy.

"It's such a culturally diverse and interesting country that has geography and history and people that come from every corner of the globe," says Heritage Minister Sheila Copps. "That's what makes it really unique."

Unique is one way to put it.

Each month in each province there is at least one report of a UFO.

Of all the road accidents that occur in Canada, 0.3 per cent involve a moose. And a Calgary tour company offers a course in igloo building.

Maybe such madness is what makes comedian Rick Mercer feel so lucky to be Canadian.

"I just always feel . . . that we won the Lotto and anyone who was born in Canada or has come to Canada, you won the Lotto," says Rick Mercer, star of CBC's hit comedies Made in Canada and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

"You know, Canadians don't take themselves that seriously, and quite often we're self-deprecating and that's a character trait I admire greatly in an individual and so I admire it in a nation," says Mercer, who will spend Canada Day working on Made In Canada, albeit from a hammock in his back yard.

Canadians may not take themselves seriously, but they do some seriously strange stuff.

Canada holds the world record for the highest stunt freefall for a 1,100 foot plunge from the CN Tower.

The world's oldest snowboarder hits the slopes in Canada. Wong Yui Hoi, of British Columbia, took up the sport at 75 according to the folks at Guiness.

Canadian Jack McKenzie, 77, is the oldest person to ski to the north pole.

Those months spent with scant daylight hiding from frostbite may go a long way to explain some other Canadian, uh, accomplishments.

Canada boasts the longest gum wrapper chain in the world - 10,387 metres- according to the Guiness book of world records, and the most push-ups in an hour - 3,416.

Canadians hold the record for pogo-stick jumping and the largest hug. They baked the world's largest cherry pie, made the world's largest block of cheese and hold the world kissing title for the most couples smooching simultaneously.

Maybe it's not cabin fever, but brain freeze. A 7-Eleven store in Winnipeg sells more Slurpees per capita than anywhere else in the world.

Canadians eat more Kraft dinner and Albertans more Jello. Details were not available on the favoured flavour.

Canadians have such an imagination they try to take credit for basketball and the telephone, says Ferguson.

"They'll claim the telephone as a Canadian invention. Alexander Graham Bell was born in Scotland, educated in Scotland and most of his research took place in Boston . . . but that doesn't matter because he lived in Canada," Ferguson says.

Yet Canada claims basketball because James Naismith was born in Canada, although he came up with the sport while living in the U.S.

But there's no denying that Toronto's Joe Shuster was co-creator of that greatest of American heroes, Superman.

And who else but the first nation of hockey could have invented Plexiglas, the goalie mask or the referee whistle?

Since beer is practically a sport unto itself in Canada, Vancouver's Steve Pasjack came up with those built-in, tuck-away handles for beer cases in 1957.

And women can blame Canada. Montreal's Canadelle company invented the push-up bra in 1964 and Dennis Colonello invented the abdominizer in 1984.

Our greatest achievement?

"I think Canada's greatest achievement is Canada, just the existence of this country, this wildly diverse, huge, rich, quirky, wonderful country," Ferguson says.

© Canadian Press 2004

Our Own Time Zone

One of the possessions we appreciatively inherited from the Stoltes as they moved out of Dresden while we moved in was a nice looking, wall hanging clock. It doesn’t look super fancy or anything, just like a regular, round, kitchen clock, and that’s precisely where we hung it.

The amazing thing about this clock though, is that it’s “radio controlled.” Do you know what that means? Once an AA battery is popped in the back it promptly sets itself to the exact official time it receives by some signal. The precise technicalities are foggy to me, but it keeps good time like any clock should and that’s enough info for me (and it doesn’t need to be set, woohoo!).

This technological wonder has hung contentedly in our kitchen since we got our landlord to hammer a nail into one of the walls (he insists he do it) a few months after we moved in. It was the main clock I relied on to accurately relay how fast I’d have to walk through the Waldpark to the tram to be on time for the German class I took, not to mention the countless times throughout the day when a quick glimpse reminded me about some prearranged appointment. I owe much of the orderliness and success of my daily life to this clock.

Now as of about three weeks ago our clock took on a mind of its own. One day I briefly glanced up and had to gasp at the complete nonsense in front of me. Our clock was four hours slow! (ok, ok or eight hours fast, take your pick.)

It wasn’t that it had simply stopped running because it needed a new Energizer. No, the clock was still ticking away, maintaining the absolute correct “minute.” Hmm.

Amy and I went to work trying to think of what had come over our staple of reliability and decided maybe the clock was just confused. After all, the battery couldn’t be dead, it was still running-! Plus, our other radio controlled clock (a digital one on the shelf in the bathroom) was still reading the right time so it couldn’t have been some kind of mass signal error.

After prying out the battery and then sliding it back into place, the hands spun around and finally rested on the right time. We breathed a sigh of relief.

However, the next day at a little after four o’clock as we were sitting at the kitchen table the stinkin thing just took off spinning and reset itself four hours behind the correct time. What is going on here!

I write this after a few weeks of this occurrence and must add that no matter what time we pull the battery out and put it back in and the right time appears, a little after four in the afternoon the time becomes a couple minutes past noon. Every day! Unless the time is already four hours behind because we hadn’t done the battery trick. Then it somehow stays the four hours behind it already was.

So as if we weren’t having enough trouble trying to figure out time differences as to not wake our parents/friends up by calling in the middle of the night, etc, now we have to think about the actual time zone of our kitchen as compared to the rest of Germany too. And it’s not even wrong by a convenient seven or eight hours behind (Amy’s and my home time zone differences, respectively), so it’s just really useless. We can’t even think of a place in the world with this exact time…somewhere in China maybe?

I forgot to mention earlier that the kicker (or should I say “ticker” since we’re talking about clocks?) to this whole thing is that in fine print under the “6” on the face of the clock it reads, “German Technology.” So maybe that’s it, we can’t figure it out because we’re not German. Man, it’s this cool invention...well it would be, if it would work!

I can’t help but wonder if the battery really is just on it’s last leg and needs to be replaced, but why won’t the clock just admit defeat? Why the four hours behind routine? Does it use less energy that way?

So if I call any of you inconveniently early or am an hour or two late for my next lunch meeting…sorry but I’m gonna have to blame it on that German technology, radio-controlled clock.

'Stop giving me a hard time about being single'

By Karen Salmansohn (taken from www.msn.com)

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:
Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha*: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: Jesus**—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.

*although full of many wise sayings, for the record Buddha is not one of my role models
**the original article said "God" but I feel that due to my extensive Biblical knowledge "Jesus" fits this description much more accurately...wouldn't you agree? :)

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.

Whad'dya Mean Barq's Has Bite?

One of the things not available in Germany that I miss is root beer. And more specifically, Barq's Root Beer. For some reason Germans are convinced it tastes like medicine and refuse to go near the stuff. I'm wondering why we didn't have medicine that tasted that good! I probably would have been a lot more willing to take it, that's for sure. And does anyone remember the Barq's ad campaign from a few years ago? Their slogan is "Barq's has bite" but for awhile there was this commercial with this little dog saying, "Whad'dya mean Barq's has bite?" while this other guy confusingly looked over and asked, "Johnny?" and the dog would repeat, "Whad'dya mean Barq's has bite?" and the guy would again say, "Johnny?" and this would go on long enough for the whole tv audience to want to rush out and buy Barq's Root Beer (isn't mass consumption the goal of every commercial? anyway...). I got a kick out of that commercial and still like to quote it sometimes, even though no one knows what I'm talking about. So let the record show that I love and miss my Barq's Root Beer.

So while we're on the topic of biting (remember, Barq's has bite) I should share a story of my week here in Dresden. While innocently on my way up to Marion's apartment for our usual Monday night English Bible study this past Monday, a malicious little terrier (or "terror-er" as my dad re-named it) decided he should have some bite too. Out of my leg. (No kidding-!) His owner put him down on the ground (he was even on a leash) and I walked by and before I knew it got nipped in the back of the leg by that meany. The lady was really nice about it though--apparently her dog had bitten someone else before so she gladly offered me her insurance information and was very cooperative. I did have to go to the doctor the next day though, which has not become a favorite activity of mine simply because of all the waiting. I needed ten minutes with the doctor but I sat and sat and sat, waiting for my name to be called. When I finally got in to see the Frau Doktor she confirmed my hopes that I would indeed survive and sent me off to have my tetanus shot updated. After more waiting I finally emerged and can proudly say that after being bitten in the leg and shot in the arm in one 24-hour period, I'm doing pretty well...although I'd say I've had enough excitement for one week-!

Now I wonder if my wound would heal faster if I only had some Barq's with bite to counteract it. Two bites cancel each other out, wouldn't you think?

Biking Bliss

our bike trip along the Elbe

Last Sunday morning Lynnette and I met down by the Elbe river to see how far we could bike before having to turn around to be on time for worship service. By 7:45am we were on our way, stopping occasionally to take in the scenery or get a drink of water. The day was hot but the breeze was perfect and we stopped to eat lunch at our turn around point, a place called Koenigstein (a king's fortress), which is a little over 30km away from Dresden! We rode back along the paved path in time to enjoy some homemade ice cream before showering up and heading to the church building at 3:30pm. What a day of adventure and fun!

There's No Place Like Home

"Oh there's no place like home, there's no place like home
It just hit me as I was leavin', there's no place like home."

I returned safe and sound last weekend after spending two wonderful weeks with friends and family in both the US and Canada. In the two short weeks I ended up flying through seven different airports, with eight flights and 11 arrivals, stopovers, and departures altogether. That's a lot of free peanuts!

My first week was spent with college friends in Oklahoma City with the week's climax being two of my good friends' wedding on May 14th. It was fun being in on the last week preparations and getting to spend time with them their final few days as "singles." How cool to think that now they are adjusting to life as a married couple...Phil and Mary, I hope the first couple weeks have been wonderful!

I then flew up to Edmonton to surprise everyone but my parents and sister with my presence. Popping out of trunks, jumping out from behind doors, sneaking around to provide the biggest initial surprise...all was fun to take part in and then enjoy my friends' and family's reaction. One of my favorites was my uncle who looked up from untying his shoe and kind of jumped back throwing his hands up around his mouth and staring, unable to say anything. It seemed like he really didn't believe his eyes!

But after this whirlwind worldwide tour I am now settled back in Dresden where I have had a little time to unwind and catch up on rest. Having only two weeks to see everyone who is important to me is not the most relaxing vacation ever, strangely enough! I feel blessed to have seen everyone of you that I did, it was great to touch base and reconnect despite the little time we had.

And somehow ringing truer than ever before, just as my grandpa sings when we all sit down and play guitar together, "There's no place like home."

Kid's Bible Test

The following are actual answers to a Bible test given in a Catholic elementary school (spelling mistakes and all). Enjoy!

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET HE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY !

Vroom-Vroom

Beware! There are many differences with transportation between North America and Germany. The moment you think you have it all down is when you’ll get in the most trouble!

38. First off, German drivers DO NOT drive on the left side of the road. Visit Great Britain for a taste of having to “look right” every time you step off the curb as a pedestrian.

39. Almost all cars here have a manual transmission so you might want to work on your stick-shifting abilities before casually renting a car on that trip you’re planning.

40. Probably because of the extra half-second it takes to start moving in any clutch-controlled vehicle, the traffic lights here turn yellow for a quick moment before turning green. So for those of you trying to visualize the pattern goes green-yellow-red-yellow-green, etc. I like it that way.

41. The traffic lights themselves rarely hang above the intersection--usually they are planted on either side of the street. And that’s another thing, the stop-line is always right up where the light stands, so it’s extra fun if you’re the first in line and get to really lean forward while cranking your neck sideways and peering through the top of the windshield to see when the light will turn yellow then green. Good luck with that.

42. I promise you have never seen so many Audis, BMWs, VWs and Porsches on the road as there are here. You should come visit just for the coolness of that experience!

43. As the flowers are blooming so is the number of bikers hitting the streets. You must use extra care around these travelers because they almost always have the right of way. Most roads have a special bike lane along the right curb, so right turns become a little more complicated as you make a quick shoulder check to confirm if a bicycler is about to cross the intersection or not. Guaranteed you will win if you hit one (unless you’re driving a Trabbi) which ends up involving a lot of legal hassle, so it’s best to use extra caution and just avoid the situation altogether.

44. Each night after about 10 or 11 pm the traffic lights turn off. There are secondary signs at each main intersection that apply during the night...don’t just assume that because there’s no light you can blast through!

45. Did you know: it costs German teens up to 2000 euros to get their drivers licence. Everyone who wants a German licence must train in intensive schools for numerous hours after which a very strict written and practical test must be passed. The costs really add up--no wonder everyone who can finally drive is such a good driver.

46. Trams are a wonderful way to get around Dresden, but if you find yourself driving next to one (on bike or by car) remember to stop behind the tram at the tram stops. The tram riders getting on and off have the right of way.

47. As you approach an uncontrolled intersection if you see a yellow diamond with the thick white border that means your direction has the right of way! Woohoo!

48. Of course all of the aforementioned are really only good to know if you’re willing to shell out the 1,15 Euros per liter it currently costs for gas. Makes you think twice about hopping in your car to grab some milk at the store, that’s for sure. Walking is so much cheaper! (or riding your bike, but beware of all American drivers who haven’t read this post.)

49. If you find yourself on a bike, don’t be timid! You have just as much pull on the road as anyone. Be sure to make clear signals indicating when you intend to turn though--extend the arm fully in the direction you are turning. Cars will wait for you and honk if you hesitate for too long. After dark be sure to have a front and back light too, it’s a big fine if you get caught without. Otherwise, ride at your own risk and watch out for cobblestone!

50. One last note of caution for bike riders: if you ride parallel to the tram tracks and then want to cross over them, be sure to swerve very sharply to be successful. Just ask Amy what happens when you try to casually glide over them (that’s right, you come to a squeaky stop because your tire will slide into the track quite snugly, after which you have to climb off your bike and pull it out with quite some effort to the embarrassment of you and the amusement of those around).

The Single Most Important Thing

"Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." -Matthew 6:33 (MSG)

silly singles

Rain, rain , rain was all that was forecasted in Gemunden, Germany this past weekend. It poured for about 30 minutes late Friday night like the Weatherman predicted, but then the sky cleared and the sun shone through for the rest of the weekend! (many thanks to those of you who were praying!) It was a very successful time as 30 singles from Belgium, Poland, Holland and Germany gathered to encourage one another and learn from God's word. In between Clint Everhart's lessons we enjoyed playing many games like fooseball, volleyball, table tennis, and frisbee. We also made good use of the fun zip line and sang praise to God around the bonfire with glistening stars overhead. Oh, and I learned how to whistle by using my fingers--the loud way! We Dresdners will be organizing the next retreat in October as well, and I'm looking forward to being reunited with my brothers and sisters again. There's no better way to spend a weekend!

(check out pictures at http://community.webshots.com/user/singlesretreat)
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And here's a shout out to my favorite Germany roommate and HIM partner, Amy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You Should Notice That...

"Bathrooms" (remember they're actually called "WC"s here)
Germany’s plumbing is very similar to that of North America on this point, but a few critical details still loom about potentially posing a threat to you as you become comfortable with the familiarity.

31. Not on the front, side, other side, or wall can a handle for flushing be found. On every toilet here you must simply push a button, even in homes. Finding that button is sometimes tricky, but it is usually on the wall above the toilet, where the upright water tank is on its North American-style counterpart. Be careful though, this button is a two way switch, push one half and the toilet flushes, the other half and the process stops suddenly (to prevent overflowing due to plugging if it occurs). You can use a little trial-and-error if you panic.

32. German toilets have very little water actually in the bowl. Just know.

33. In someone's home the door to the toilet/bath is always closed. Who wants to see the toilet whenever they walk by? It is confusing to know if it's being used though, which brings me to my next point...

34. Always lock the door when you are using the WC in someone's house. You never know who might barge in if you don't. (Thankfully I don't know this from personal experience.)

35. The first thing to know when you're headed for a WC in a public place is that "D" is for women (Damen) and "H" is for men (Herren). After you're safely in the correct one it is very easy to notice if a stall is currently occupied or not--the doors have white/red indicators on them to show if they are locked (and therefore occupied). No more peering under the door to check for feet! (and I must also comment that I can only speak for the women's WC, sorry guys)

36. I guess a prerequisite to actually discerning the "D" or "H" is knowing that in gas stations, train stations, some stores, and a few restaurants you'll have to leave some change for the nice lady (or man) who cleans the place. She sits at the entrance, usually at a small table with a plate or bowl containing the previous users' donations. Twenty cents is usually a good amount, and I've found that once I pay I really do enjoy the rest of my WC experience much more (I mean I paid for it, so why not really appreciate the cleanliness!).

37. I forgot to put on my list of funny German words the word for bathroom: "Bad." Nice hey.

Ever wonder what's so different about driving in Germany? I'll tell you in my next post!

The Best Day EVER!

"And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name." -Acts 22:16

Kai and Grady...I think he got water up his nose!

The verse above was what Grady said gave him the final push to decide to put on Jesus as his Lord through baptism this afternoon. I ran into him on the street before it happened and he just said, "What have I been waiting for!" After a few phone calls were made, everyone met and walked down to the Elbe river where we witnessed both a birth and a death. Grady has been coming to Bible studies and Sunday worship for many months, and we are all overjoyed that he has now made commited his life to living for Christ! It's times like these that make life absolutely wonderful!

Piece of Cake

on the farm with Sarah

Sunday afternoon I left to go with Sarah and Marion to Marion's parents house in the small town of Grosskrausnik, 100km north of Dresden. I stayed there with Sarah for four days and we did tons of fun stuff like biking through the woods on really old bikes, raking a field to get it ready for planting, baking cakes, and driving a tractor. Sarah was really nervous about driving the tractor at first, and after a 10 minute "how-to" talk from Opa she hesitantly agreed. I sat beside her in the "passenger" seat and after we had made it about halfway down the field I said, "See, it's a piece of cake!" Without hesistation she asked, "Where?!"

Man! I keep forgetting that cliches are cliches, and don't make sense to non-native English speakers. But it really did make for a good laugh-! ("Where?!")

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(April 5, 05) "Disclaimer"
After talking more with Sarah, it turns out this incident wasn't purely a linguistic misunderstanding. She asked that I clarify for all you readers out there, so here goes.

The day before we drove/rode the tractor we enjoyed a nice bike ride on which we rode over many different types of terrain. Dirt roads, sandy paths, fields, etc. On one of these country trails Sarah was riding a bit ahead of me and warned me not to ride into the the cow dung that she had just passed. I explained that in English we call them "cow pies" and we exchanged a few sentences about how weird that actually was. So, Sarah defends that on the next day when she was driving the tractor and I casually mentioned a "piece of cake" she thought I was referring to a pile of manure on the field or something. I can see how she'd get confused, I mean, both are pastries not usually associated in any way with a tractor, cow, dung, or a field. So there you go Sarah, you have been "disclaimed." :)

Still More to Learn

Here’s installment number three in what is growing into becoming a long series of cultural differences between life in Germany and North America. This week’s entry is designated to the points I have previously forgotten…it’s important to be thorough!

At the Movies
27. When it’s your turn at the ticket window at the movie theater, it’s not as simple as purely saying which movie you’d like to see. You buy a ticket for a specific seat here, and they range in price too. The cost that is advertised is for the seats in the first ten rows of the theater, and if you don’t want to physically move your head back and forth to catch all the action you’re going to have to cough up another euro for the middle of the theater and two for the rear. Don’t you dare sit in a seat that’s not represented by the ticket you hold either—the German who bought that seat for the next couple hours will boot you out. And the law of diffusion totally does not apply here…if there is a whole theater of empty seats but the couple that just walked in is headed you way, don’t expect that they will necessarily sit a couple of chairs away. If they belong in the two seats exactly next to you they will end up there, despite the fact that you have never or will never see them again and can’t quite make out their facial features even now due to the dimmed lights. Rubbing elbows with a complete stranger in a completely empty theater IS as weird as it sounds.

28. About 96% of all Germans sit through the entirety of the credits following a movie. My guess is that they a) really want to get their money’s worth, or b) really want to see who the “2nd Unit’s Assistant Production Supervising Manager’s Caterer” is.

29. Also, it’s rare here in Dresden to see people leaving behind their popcorn and drink trash in the theater. Generally everyone makes the extra effort to deposit their own leftovers into the trash in the lobby.

Fast Food Joints
30. I forgot to mention earlier that the most confusing part of an American-style chain fast food restaurant is that most of the menu is in English but one is still expected to order in German. How I should have known to order my Subway sandwich as “Turkey, Ham, and Roast Beef mit Honey Mustard” but then say “Mayonnaise” the German way is beyond me. It’s even spelled the same way for Pete’s sake! As far as I’m concerned, all native English speakers are probably doomed to failure on this point.

More to come!

It's Called What?!

"[God said,] 'Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another's speech.'" -Genesis 11:7

More cultural differences to come; here's some great German words in the meantime:

Schmuck - Jewelry
Fahrt - Trip
Rock - Skirt

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Literally...
You buy bread at a baekerei (bakery), meat at a fleischerei (butchery), books at a buecherei (bookery), cake at a konditorei (cakery) and dye for your clothes at a faerberei (dye-ery).

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Germans like to compound their words. Here's the best example I've seen so far:

der Vierwaldstaedterseedampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftsverwalfungsratspraesident.
No kidding.

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An update-chen* on life of late:

- I received my ATM card! It's wonderful to have access to my money again (especially to start paying Amy back-!)
- My health is back to normal! Thanks to all for the prayers and encouragement.
- I love living here in Dresden! Spring is in the air and the 6-month blues have worn off, life really couldn't be better.

*the ending -chen is used mostly on the end of already-existing German words to indicate a smaller version...get it?

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And a couple great quotes to end with:

"Das Satz war wie Kartoffelsalat." (That sentence was like potato salad. [translation: all mixed up]) -Frau Marklofsky, my German teacher

"I said hi to you in the Waldpark the other day, only it wasn't you." -Gerald, a guy from church

The Joys of Germany

Y’know what’s really fun in a foreign country? Inserting your ATM card into an ATM machine and then not only getting no money out of it, but no card back either. And THEN to call your trusty American bank only to hear that someone had reported it stolen and all you can do is wait a few weeks until the new card arrives, and then a few more days when its PIN follows. The only sense that can be made out of this silliness is that when I called the bank last week to confirm my change of address (after 6 months, whoops) the lady must have thought I said “stolen” instead of “Germany” or “lost” instead of its homonym “new address.” Sheesh.

But anyway, despite this total lack of access to my money here is the second installment of what’s so different about this land of Germany. These ones require a bit more explanation…!

Food/Grocery Stores
15. Grocery carts here don’t just have two wheels that swivel for steering purposes, all four wheels are capable of 360 degree movement. This makes for major fun and easy maneuvering, well until you have a full cart and some speed (which means huge inertia) and need to swerve around a tight corner…you have to throw your whole body into it if there’s any hope of not smashing into everyone within 5 meters.
16. If you’d like to pack your newly bought goodies into anything besides your arms, be prepared to add a few extra cents to your bill. Germans are a highly recycling people, and there are many rewards to reusing the bags you bought last time (well, you don’t have to pay for new ones).
17. So once you’ve remembered to bring your own grocery bags, don’t expect the nice lady ringing up your bill to set anything into them, that’s your job in Germany. It’s because of this fact that I recommend using the buddy system and never shopping alone unless you have less than 5 items. It is no less than impossible to keep up with the practiced-to-perfection pace of the cashier, which quickly becomes frantic if you haven’t been mentally preparing since entering the store.
18. Cheddar, mozzarella, marble…these are the three main types of cheese I’d expect to find in any North American grocery store. It’s hard to come by any of these here, but instead you can find about 500 other types of cheese. Cheese that goes with white or red wine, cheese from Switzerland or Denmark, cheese from goats or sheep, stinky cheese, cheese that tastes like rotting dirt (I know that one from experience)…it can be quite overwhelming.
19. There are two places to find milk in a German grocery store, in the refrigerated section, or on a regular shelf. Apparently the stuff on the shelf is pasteurized and lasts for weeks before it’s opened compared to it’s cooler counterpart—that stuff is fresh milk. I haven’t noticed a huge taste difference but I just can’t get past buying milk off of a shelf…
20. Apples? Tomatoes? If it’s in the open produce section you are required to weigh and price your own. It’s especially fun to be searching for the exact picture of your veggies on the scale while a line of impatient shoppers grows behind you (and somehow causes me to be slower).
21. I’ve been drinking bottled water lately but it’s tricky to find in the drink aisle because it’s surrounded by millions of bottles of sparkling water. If it says “still” on the bottle, don’t be fooled, that just means it has less “gas” in it. And surprisingly, many restaurants and stores don’t even carry plain, noncarbonated water!
22. Be careful what drinks you do buy because some bottles have a refund on them. That means you will pay extra for them when you buy them and be reimbursed only when you return the bottle. It isn’t such a big deal until a pile of 20-1.5L bottles accumulates in your kitchen and you finally decide to cash them in. Lugging them back to the store you bought them from is a delightful experience, especially when you happened to have picked them up at different places-!
23. The largest size of soft drink bottle is 1.5 liters. 2L bottles are non-existant.

What’s That Called…?
24. Cell phones are phone booths here. That small phone in your pocket is a “handy.” When I write you a text message, Europeans call it an “SMS.”
25. For you Diet Coke fans, keep in mind that you’ll have to order a “Coke light.”
26. A bathroom here literally has a bath in it. If you want a toilet, ask for it by name (or if you still can’t bring yourself to do that, “WC” is also accepted).
Can you think of any more?

Stay tuned for differences with driving and bathrooms coming soon…

Germany? Different?

Well culture shock has been getting the best of me for the past few weeks and I decided to try to find out why. I mean, I'm living in Germany, a "western" culture in modern Europe, with plenty of similarities to life in North America. It's not like I'm living in a grass hut in an African desert or on the 50th floor of a Tokyo apartment building. What's the big deal?

Over the next few entries I will lay out a few of the components of daily life here in Germany that are almost the same as at home, but just different enough to be unfamiliar. After all, all culture shock is, "is the absence of many of the familiar cues encountered at home and the substitution of them with other cues that are strange" (Hardin, Sojourners, 47). Sounds easy enough to talk yourself out of...and it is easy, until one day it comes back to bite you in the butt.

Food/Eating Out
1. No free refills on soft drinks at restaurants. Choose if you want a small or large and then pace yourself if you don't want to pay for another one.
2. Lunch is the main meal of the day. Supper is usually sandwiches and finger foods.
3. Germans take their time at restaurants. Meals can be 2-3 hours long. No "eating and running" here.
4. If you want to pay your waiter, you have to be VERY clear about it. They will not bring your bill until you have either asked for it or made very clear eye contact, usually while raising your arm to signal.
5. When the waiter brings the bill you pay right then. No setting it down and leaving; instead you look at the total, add a very small amount as a tip (it is usually included anyway) and tell the waiter clearly how much you intend to pay. He will make change right there at the table.
6. Once you pay, your meal is over. You are expected to leave.
7. There is no such thing as getting a coffee "to go". Germans sit and enjoy their coffee and would never think about taking it with them.
8. Travel mugs are nowhere to be found. The closest thing you can buy here is a thermos.
9. Only on a very rare occasion will you see a German eating or drinking in public (outside a restaurant). The few times I have done this I have gotten stares from passerbys.
10. If you ever find yourself in a fast food restaurant (they are hard to find) don't be fooled by the familiar foods and smells. When you're finished your meal you are expected to clean up after yourself by collecting all your garbage onto the tray, and instead of dumping it into a trash can, sliding it into a type of "tray shelf" (for lack of a better term). It's extra tricky if you haven't finished your drink and it won't fit.
11. Quarter Pounders are non-existant here. Europe is on the metric system so you'll have to settle for a "McRoyale" (John Travolta also noticed this in Pulp Fiction). I assume they taste the same.

Cinemas/Movies
12. In Dresden, an English movie plays once a week at two seperate theatres, and if you want to go to a movie but neither of them interest you, tough. The week you want to see both of them, chances are they are playing on the same night and you're out of luck again.
13. Movie popcorn is not limited to one kind here. You have the option of sweet (somewhat similar to kettle corn) or salty, and if you want my advice (thanks to Robert Stolte), convince the lady to mix it half and half. Add a few crispy M&Ms, and you've got yourself an awesome movie treat.
14. Most Hollywood flicks don't arrive in the theatres here the same time they come out in the States. Not to mention when it finally comes out on DVD it takes a couple months longer too.

More to come soon!

Why Did the Polish Tree Cross the Road?

When I was in Poland over New Year's, my family spoiled me rotten. I only knew a couple of them from before this trip, but was immediately welcomed by the whole group upon arriving. A week was planned of sight-seeing, trips to nearby Krakow and Wroclaw, and skiing in the Czech Republic! Not to mention I learned the most important Polish phrase ever: "Jestem feyna Kanadieska dziewucha" (I am a nice Canadian girl) followed by a close second: "Jestem glodna" (I'm hungry). I had a wonderful time and am looking forward to visiting again in the summer.

The day we went to Krakow started out fairly normal. My (third?) cousins Adam and Michael picked me up early and we drove the 2.5 hours to the city. We saw this AMAZING salt mine and walked around the city center for a couple hours, taking in the architecture and trying to find the significant buildings. Krakow is a cool place!

We headed home around 7pm, well past dark, and traveled most of the way back on a main highway. But the last leg of the trip was more in the backwoods, where the roads are narrow, 2 laned, and not likely to have any lines painted on them. It was fun whipping through these curvy, dark back roads at medium-high speeds (don't worry Mom, only medium-high) and things were going along very routinely. It had been a full day of activity and I was getting tired and ready to be back and rest.

As we picked up speed after we exited another small town we entered a forest area. As I exhaustedly watched the road up ahead, it suddenly changed from its flat, normal self. We came to a quick stop to find a tree, flat out across the road, that had apparently gave up on remaining upright. It was a fairly large tree, but it seemed to have smashed when it impacted the highway and was in convenient pieces for us to drag off to the side of the road. It was not a stormy night, nor even windy if I recall, so it was especially odd that it had chosen this particular time to just fall over. This road wasn't highly traveled, but there were enough cars on it to conclude that it had probably happened fairly recently being that we were the first on the scene...what are the chances!

So I guess maybe it was just trying to get to the other side...?

Scare-dy Cat, Part Deux

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

Amy is the jumpiest person I know.

The other night I was almost asleep when the phone rang. I sauntered sleepily across the hall to where Amy was, watching The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, and it didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't hear me enter the room. But because of the angle she was sitting at, my super cool new headphones that she was wearing (that block out any surrounding sound from the wearer), and the intense nature of the film, she made no indication acknowledging my entrance into the room. I had to take advantage of this prime opportunity.

Ok so it MIGHT have had something to do with the thrilling scene she was watching, but regardless, when I quickly jumped toward her while frantically waving my arms (no sound was necessary because of my super cool headphones, remember) she quickly drew her arms up around her face, curled into a ball as best she could (with the laptop on her lap), took in a huge gasp of air, while simultaneously jumping about a half a foot off the couch. And to think, all I wanted to tell her was that her sister was on the phone...! :) mwahaha

Where Did January Go?

Did this month disappear for anyone else too? I blinked and missed it, and I'm sorry I've been out of touch.

But for the "story of the week"...after last week's Thursday night bible study Marion, Amy, and I were leaving at the same time and had to take advantage of the snow that has recently decided to stick around the city. Of course, everyone knows that the best and most spontaneous way to do this is to have a snowball fight-! Even though it was around 10pm, we strategically ducked between cars parked on the street while forming more snowballs despite our freezing hands, and verbally shouted our disbelief when we were actually hit...ok so maybe we were being a little loud. But the funny part is that we were causing all this ruckus in English (as in, the few words that were spoken were not in the tongue of the country where we found ourselves), and there happened to be a couple of women standing outside a building across the street who, after a couple minutes, loudly said, "Uhh, we're in Germany!" Marion quickly responded (in German) that we can all speak German as well, and even if not fluently, I was glad she said something to that rude lady who was convinced only her German language was allowed. Mensch!