How to Tell a Witch

"...our mouth was filled with laughter..." -Psalm 126:2

An exerpt from one of the most ridiculous movies of all time, Monty Python: The Search for the Holy Grail. I get a kick out of it every time-!

Man 1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Crowd Shouting: Burn 'er, burn 'er!!
Judge: How do you know she is a witch?
M1: She looks like one!
CS: Yeah! Looks like one, looks like one.
J: Bring her forward.
Lady: I'm not a witch, I'm NOT a witch.
J: But you are dressed as one.
L: They dressed me up like this!
CS: Nah, no, boo!
L: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!
J: Well?
M1: Well we did do the nose...
J: The nose?
M1: And the hat...but she is a witch!
CS: Yeah, burn 'er!
J: Did you dress her up like this?
M1(&CS): No!...yes, yeah a bit (a bit, a bit)
M1: She has got a wart-!
J: What makes you think she is a witch?
Man 2: Well she turned me into a newt!
J: A newt?
[silence]
M2: I got better.
M1(&CS): Burn 'er anyway! (much ruckus)
J: Quiet, quiet, quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
M1(&CS): Are there? What are they? Tell us!
J: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
M2: Burn 'em!! (CS: Burn them up!)
J: And what do you burn apart from witches?
M2: MORE witches!! (someone hits him)
Man 3: Wood?
J: Good. Why do witches burn?
[silence]
M2: Because they're...made of...wood?
J: Gooooood! (CS: ahh yeah)
J: So! How do we tell whether she is made of wood?
M1: Build a bridge out of 'er!
J: Aah but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
M1: Aww yeah.
J: Does wood sink in water?
M1: Ahh no! It floats! (CS: it floats!)
M2: Throw her in the pond! (Crowd yelling)
J: But what also floats in water?
M1: Bread.
M3: Apples!
M2: Uhh, very small rocks.
Man 4: Cider.
Man 5: Gra-gravy!
M1: Cherries
M2: Mud
M4: Lead, lead!
King Arthur: A duck.
J: Exactly. So lo-gi-ca-lly...
M1: If she weighs the same as...a duck...she's made of wood...and...a WITCH!
CS: A witch! A witch!