The One Thing I Now Know About Relationships

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Many people would look at my situation over the last year and wonder if I really have anything worthwhile to contribute to the "what makes a relationship work" discussion.  It's true that I've thrown everything to the wind that I once found undeniable but have discovered one thing that has kept coming resurfacing, being made clearer with each wave of doubt.

I used to think relationships--including friendships--were built on things like common interests, shared opinions and beliefs, similar parenting styles, to name a few.  Communication was important, as was some sort of compatibility--measured in the form of birth order and personality tests.  Shared goals and dreams was nice too.

I'm sure some of those things do make the difference between a deepening relationship versus a casual acquaintance.  But for the sake of this post I want to focus on just one idea that requires none of the aforementioned to pervade:

Mutual respect, which to me fundamentally means giving freedom to the other person to be himself or herself.

As in, I may do things differently than you.  I may hold the opposite opinions to you on everything.  I may not find value in any of the things that you value.

And I love you for it.