Christmas is...

Home Renovations, Second Installment

And here are some teaser shots of our dining room and kitchen progress.  A more dramatic "before" and "after" comparison to come!

Highlights of this reno:

• updating the cabinets with new, oil-rubbed bronze hardware
• replacing laminate countertops with granite and an undermount sink
• taking out the old fluorescent box light and installing six recessed light cans in kitchen
• a new tile backspash with undercabinet lighting
• tile floors installed in kitchen and adjacent hallway
• new fridge and dishwasher (waiting to add a new range for a few more months)
• repurposing the previously cream colored chandelier (in dining room) with oil rubbed bronze spray paint
• exchanging the carpet for custom-stained maple hardwood floors in the dining room
• scraping off the popcorn textured ceilings and spraying with a "knockdown" texture
• replacing the old patio door with a new model
• doing most of the work ourselves or with friends' help, saving us more than half the projected costs!

But the whole reason for starting this project was to knock out part of the wall between the kitchen and dining room, combining the rooms with a breakfast bar island.  Everyone loves it except for our dining room table set which now only gets used on those "special" occasions.  More pictures to come soon!

Home Renovations, Part One

Whew, this next series of posts has been a long time coming!  Since April we've been slowly doing some major and minor home reno projects and now you'll finally get to see some pics!  I'll start with our siding job.

When we bought out home it had its original 1977 masonite siding, so it was well due for an update!  We hired Larson Siding, here in Rochester, to do the job for us.  They replaced it with vinyl siding and even used a new product called "Stack-n-Tack" which is the stone accent facing you see!  We're very pleased with the result. (You can't see it very well in the bottom picture because of the direct sunlight, but the stone is on either side of the front door as well.  Also, since this picture was taken we have also re-hung out shutters!)

Where's Caitlin?

Boutique Closet

A few months ago I heard of an idea to make your closet into a "boutique."  I'm not going to lie, I thought it was a little absurd at first!  I'm not a boutique shopper and at that point I was lucky enough to just keep my clothes piled inside the closet itself rather than spilling out into our bedroom.

But similar little thoughts and reminders here and there started working on me...and finally this past weekend they became a reality!

My favorite ideas from this project are: putting hooks in the unused space below my shirts to hang my purses on, nailing an inexpensive belt hanger to the wall for my necklaces, and rolling my scarves to give them a neat look (kind of like roses) on the shelf.

I've also been learning tips like, "shopping your closet," "less is more," and, "investing in quality essential pieces," so you'll have more outfits to work with in the long run.  I subscribed to MissusSmartyPants.com ("the know-it-all of style") a few months back and it's proven to be a wise choice for me!  Slowly learning how to rethink how I dress and accessorize and now finally trickling down to how I actually organize and present my closet.  It has slowly but surely been changing the way I look at myself as a whole too--something I didn't expect at the beginning of this journey.

I hope to eventually purchase a small, inexpensive chandelier to complete the closet redo too.  Now to maintain this orderliness!

Delightful Caitlin

Caitlin has always been our little delight.  With her super sweet laid back temperament, we can count on one hand the number of times she's had a melt down.  She fell easily into a schedule as a newborn, she ate great, slept great and I could leave her to entertain herself for long periods of time.  She was always fine in whatever new situation she found herself in (well, except for that one time in MOPPETS last year!) and is super easy to make happy and keep that way.  What can I say, she's easy to find delightful!

I knew it all had to come to an end eventually.

Not that she's any less of a delight in general, let me clarify.  It's just that all those easily endearing qualities are now moving over for other, more independant "I want to figure out the world my way now" toddler traits.  Wonderful.

Gone is our ever compliant daughter, in her place stands a little girl who, when I say "No" says "Yes" and when I insist "Yes!" she has to say "No!"  It's rare to greet her in the morning and find her playing just with her toys and books anymore, instead she is streaking around having apparently discovered how to free herself of her pajamas or has pulled her rocking chair over to the dresser and is unloading her sock drawer into the laundry hamper.  I'm starting to doubt my decision to put the animal wall calendar within her reach because I'm convinced one of these days the tack will become firmly embedded in my foot once she's decided to pull it off the wall.  "Go play" used to be the only thing we had to say to her to fill up all those extra hours in the day between actual "activities," but she can't help but follow me around incessantly, trying to draw me in to her play or just join in with my preoccupation.  I have tried a couple unsupervised drawing sessions but am now fearful that the crayon marks will all too soon be anywhere but the paper.  It's those slight hesitations where immediate response had been her norm that can wear a mama out!  Not to mention she's now seeking attention by sucking her thumb, swiping and sucking on Connor's paci, climbing in the exersaucer and requesting to play in the playpen.  Obviously an attempt to "regress for more attention" but honestly kid, your brother is already nine months old and you kinda missed the boat on that one!

Was she really ever that sweet? I can hear some of you asking.  Yes and yes.  She was.  She had her moments but overall nothing thusfar has prepared us for the complete shock of the actual two and a half year old stage we now find ourselves-!

She has started singing real songs with real words (and sometimes her own words!) and her vocabulary has skyrocketed.  Everyday a new phrase jumps out of her mouth and we can't help but smile.  Today at breakfast it was suddenly counting to 12 without skipping from 6 to 9 as she usually has!  She can run like the wind and loves it even more when holding hands with one of us.  She even insists on pushing Connor in the stroller on walks and "by George!" I'm not going to say no to that one!  She is the first one to point out a train whistle, siren, airplane, garbage truck, schoolbus or playground.  She is always sharing toys with Connor and bringing us "soup" to taste.  Just yesterday Grady was explaining that Grandma and Dziadiu live in Canada and for the rest of the evening she was talking about putting on her shoes and coat to "go to Canada."  Not to mention now that I've sang the Canadian anthem to her twice, everytime she hears "Canada" she starts, "Oh, Canada..."  One of her main goals is to get Connor to laugh at her antics, but she is the one who now decides how and when that will be--any prompting from us just gets the opposite reaction from her (also new to us!).

You are a delight to us, dear girl, and we are so blessed to "be on our toes" as your parents!

Parenting Well

Today I am thinking about parenting styles. And parenting goals. And how to stay level headed through the amazingly long term process it all turn out to be.

If you were to describe your parenting style, what would it be? I'm familiar with a few specific philosophies--Love and Logic, Attachment Parenting, Growing Kids God's Way--as well as authors like Dr. Spock, Dr. Sears, etc. I don't want to discuss the ins and outs of each style, as everyone has their opinions and some will even fight to the death about why theirs is the "right" way-! I'm just thinking about the day to day process we all go through to parent our kids.

My current challenge is having an increasingly busy and independent two-year-old and then an equally busy eight-month-old. Both developing at their own pace, both with different needs, both with different challenges...and that wears me out. Parenting sure can be tiring at times, can't it?

It's true that at this season in my life I need to devote most of my energy to parenting my children. Nothing else has the long term repercussions this will. I need to be able to free up my schedule so I have enough energy to parent well, whatever that means to me. What does that mean to me?

Parenting well. I suppose I feel well about things when I am having those especially patient days or when Caitlin seems to "get it." When I don't feel so overwhelmed by other things that I can't maintain some structure in our home. For example, with napping. Or mealtimes accompanied by manners. But is that all?


I know some people won't agree with me as I continue on this topic, and that's ok with me. But at least for us, I feel well as a parent when we are being consistent with our expectations of Caitlin's behavior. And I notice she seems to feel well too. She knows her boundaries and feels secure in them.

I so appreciate having come across information while pregnant with Caitlin that guided us as parents to "parent" from the beginning. Not "befriend," not "dictate," but lovingly parent and guide, which is the principle we have stuck to with both our children. We've helped both kids regulate their sleeping and eating schedules and from there have moved into our own "style" of keeping the long term goals in mind in whatever situation we come across. I find so much benefit in this idea!

Here's where we're at with two-year-old Caitlin: she has started wanting to decide what she gets to do each day, kind of her own "activities planner." She'll suggest things to me and often her suggestions are not bad ideas! But what's weird is that I find if I accommodate her ideas and don't throw in any of my own, she starts to think she's the boss. It translates to wanting specific foods for supper and wanting to choose exactly what to wear and wanting to have her hair styled a certain way and even telling me what Connor needs at any given moment! These things in and of themselves aren't that bad, even cute at times, but they add up to one spoiled brat at the end of the day, who, in the end isn't very happy either. When I start "parenting" her again and reigning in her schedule and making some decisions for her, she turns into this sweet, content, "happy as a lark" little girl. Not that there's not some protesting along the way (she still thinks she knows best) but she sure is happiest knowing she's not in control, someone else is.

Isn't that how it is with us and God?

I'm so glad knowing I don't have to control my life...because ultimately I can't anyway! There are so many other factors that interact with me that it's literally impossible to try to get a certain outcome from things. Obviously, there are things I do have responsibility for and as with parenting Caitlin, I want to grant her areas where she has responsibility too, when she is ready. But for goodness sake, she's only two! Should she be deciding what her day looks like? She's not ready for that. Should I give her the responsibility of saying "Please" and "Thank you" on her own without prompting? She's not ready for that. What about deciding how to appropriately dress for the weather? She's not ready for that. My point is, there are obvious things as parents that we understand our kids shouldn't be responsible for just yet, but then in other areas it's all too easy to allow them freedom beyond their capabilities, causing them confusion and anxiety.

I heard something recently that really rings true with me: "If you are constantly correcting [your child], there is too much freedom." Doesn't that make sense? Who wants to have a home characterized by constant correction or as some say, "redirection"? I feel well as a parent when I can say more positive things to Caitlin than negative. But you're thinking, "how? she's only two!" This is where this principle applies. It takes more initial work on my part (and consistency) but creates such a cherished and peaceful atmosphere when effective boundaries are set. She is content and her creativity flourishes. She learns to fore go her wishes (and who doesn't agree that we all have to learn that to function in the real world as adults), respect and submit to someone in charge (anyone ever had a boss? important skill to have), and in turn I feel well about the skills she is learning.

For example, when I accept as a parent that it's my job to teach her to use manners, I am not frustrated when she doesn't say it herself. Instead of becoming irritated, saying, "What do you SAY???" I can instead relax and remind her, "Say, 'More please!'" Instead of running around the house after her when she gets into something that's not ideal to play with, I teach her initially to not touch certain things. I don't give her the responsibility of having to decide what things are safe and what things aren't, I expect her to listen to me and everyone is blessed by that obedience. Some people would call that "limiting" her or "hindering" her development--I call it parenting with the long term goal in mind; parenting well.

I will wait upon the Lord.

"Never, ever in our wait, is God inactive. NEVER. We have got to trust that if ever he puts a stay on something, if ever he has put a hold on something, if ever he has called us to wait upon Him: SOMETHING is up. Something is happening in the heavenlies. There is someway that things on earth are coming into the will of the things in Heaven. And we have got to trust Him.

“Isaiah 40:31 in the KJV: ‘But those who wait on the LORD, Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.’

“What is more exhausting than waiting? What? And here scripture says if we wait upon the Lord, he is going to renew all our strength. Whereas to us it (waiting) feels the more we wait the weaker we feel. (The Lord knows) we will lose our strength, our strength will be depleted if we wait upon ‘The Thing.’ When we wait upon a person, a thing, an event, we will lose; but if your waiting on the Lord, you will renew your strength: you’ll renew strength, you’ll mount up as eagles. Do you see the difference? We’re waiting on the THING. We’re waiting on the...(fill in the blank) wedding day, we’re waiting on that baby, were waiting on that promotion, waiting on that provision... you fill in the blank. And these are huge things to wait on, important things, noble things to pray for and to want but if all we’re doing is DAY after DAY waiting on the thing, waiting on the event: we’re depleted because the event, person, thing doesn’t come. Wait upon the Lord, WAIT UPON THE LORD. Sit as a watchman on the wall and wait upon the Lord. With expectancy and anticipation that the longer you, God, are taking the harder you are working and I cannot wait to see what you are orchestrating in the heavenlies. The longer we wait the more we’re to renew our strength. Tell the Lord in prayer...IT waits but cause me to wait on you and not just the thing. Renew my strength. Listen to the words of Habakkuk 2:3: ‘For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

- transcribed from Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman."

Pressing On...

As fall starts up here are some of the things I'm looking forward to becoming part of my schedule:

• more regular meal planning
• cooking a whole feast and hosting friends for Canadian Thanksgiving (Oct 12th!)
• being part of the leadership team of MOPS
• getting back into the swing of blogging and posting pictures and videos (and catching up from the summer!)
• learning more about parenting by taking a "Growing Kids God's Way" class
• making foods like pumpkin bread and butternut squash soup
• watching everyone's antics and the beautiful scenery on Survivor
• the last few weeks of being part of our CSA (fresh, local, organic veggies every week!)
• growing in wisdom with other wives as we start our "Created to Be His Helpmeet" study
• spending more time on the kids' scrapbooks
• enjoying our beautifully renovated kitchen/dining room and exterior siding
• watching Connor learn and grow and learn and grow (most recently, waving and saying, "papapa"!)
• hanging out with Caitlin who is just blossoming into such the sweetest little girl
• figuring out the intricacies of what it means to love another in the best way for them at any given moment
• sharing the ups and downs of life and living in true community with both those in our small group and our close friends
• finally getting to wear that Gap sweater I bought at the outlet for ridiculously cheap in July

And on that note...goodnight!

Nothing Cuter

There's nothing cuter than a baby in a bucket! (well, except maybe his wrinkly baby feet.) Especially when he's happy to be there!

Silly People

If you've ever wondered where I get some of my silliness from, look no further...
Here's how this "photo session" went:
(1) top left
Me: "Hey! you guys match today! let's take a picture. you both go stand over there."

(2) middle left
"Ha Ha, very funny grandpa..." (he was facing backwards)

(3) right
"Ok, ok, turn around!" (notice they both did)

(4) bottom left (needs to be seen up close for maximum enjoyment)
Grandma keeps Grandpa in line.

Miss you two!!

The Future Hope Project

Some of the moms in my MOPS group raised money to put together packages for something called the Future Hope Project. It's a very simple, straightforward way to provide new mothers and their babies with basic supplies during their first days and weeks together. It's an ongoing need so I hope to put more of these together in future months too. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

"Attention Target Shoppers"

In the past couple months I've been trying my hand at saving money on groceries with coupons. One thing that's made my efforts so effective is sites like "Attention Target Shoppers," which is a blog by a lady who writes about the best Target deals of each week, pointing out available coupons which are usually combined with sale items. Because of sites like these, I saved over $50 on my last Target visit! I am excited to continue this trend!

Red, White, and Blueberries

It's the time of year when the schedule is filled to the brim with blog-worthy happenings--so much so that the actual blogging about said events is falling by the wayside! Ironic. I can't wait to share pictures and stories about everything as things settle down after this weekend. Hope you are all enjoying the beautiful summer weather (except for you Nat, since it's your winter there Down Under) and living life to the fullest right now, just like we are!

enjoying the festivities with a patriotic breakfast this morning

Happy Canada Day (on Wednesday), and Happy 4th of July today!

The One With the Dead Ant

Our two year old is starting to put things together...

The other day I noticed one of those huge black ants making its way across our kitchen floor. We were in the middle of eating and in an effort to not make a big spectacle of "squishing bugs" (in fear that this will become Caitlin's new favorite outdoor hobby) I leaned over and grabbed a small box acting as a temporary home for our switchplate covers and firmly enough set it down on top of the intruder. Done and done.

Well who knew that one of the first things Caitlin would notice the next morning at breakfast was the dead ant on the floor, now exposed since the switchplate box was moved during Grady's continued work on the kitchen reno from the night before. That girl spots everything, I should have known.

Here's how the conversation went:

Caitlin: "Bug!"
Me: from across the room, thinking she sees a live one, "Where?"
C: pointing, "Bug!"
M: walking over, "Ohhh, yeah...that's an ant." pause. "It's dead."
C: "Dead."
M: "Yeah, dead. I squished it."
C: "Squished it."

I go back to making breakfast...then some minutes later:
Caitlin: "Hurt?"
Me: "What hurts?"
C: pointing, "Bug."
M: "The bug hurts? Ohh, umm, you mean when I squished it?"
C: "Yeah, squished it."
M: not knowing how to respond, "Umm, I don't know if the bug hurt...I mean, maybe..."
C: "Bug. Hurt. Squished. Owie."
M: *totally* not knowing what to say, "It's ok Caitlin, he's dead and doesn't hurt now."

Some more minutes later...
Caitlin: "I kiss it better?"

Blech. Let's just say we cleared that one up right away.

Back...Almost

Well tomorrow we'll be faced with the last of the difficult goodbyes before we're back in Rochester to resume our daily life. It's been a positively wonderful visit here to Edmonton and so great to catch up with old friends and reconnect with family. Many posts of pictures and stories to come, but in the meantime, a quote that has resonated with me since I read it last week:

"Compassion is expressed in gentleness. When I think of the persons I know who model for me the depths of the spiritual life, I am struck by their gentleness. Their eyes communicate the residue of solitary battles with angels, the costs of caring for others, the deaths of ambition and ego, and the peace that comes from having very little left to lose in this life. They are gentle because they have honestly faced the struggles given to them and have learned the hard way that personal survival is not the point. Their caring is gentle because their self-aggrandizement is no longer at stake. There is nothing in it for them. Their vulnerability has been stretched to clear-eyed sensitivity to others and truly selfless love."
--from Healing of Purpose by John E. Biersdorf

Paradox

What makes a life rich?

Is it luxury? Getting whatever one wants, whenever one wants it? Lack of pain?

I'm going to propose that one of richness' main components is the appreciation for the things around us. When we delight in the small things. When we notice the blessings in everyday life.

I think that's why getting new things is so fun--it ignites that delight, that novelty that we love to experience. I can see why some people get addicted to shopping and in the end don't even care about the stuff. It's all about the initial rush of appreciating something new and different.

I could go on about how important it is to constantly remind ourselves to appreciate what is already around us--be it our spouses, homes, children, fridges full of food, freedom to be Christian, gift of grace and eternal life in heaven. But today this all hit me in a different way.

I opened the fridge to pull out some leftovers for lunch and came across some wrinkly blueberries (as in, needing to be eaten!). So I threw them into the blender with some vanilla yogurt and other frozen berries to make us all smoothies. As soon as Caitlin caught wind of it she could not have been more excited and it really wasn't anything extravagant or new. Even things that are more commonplace, like yogurt, still get a rise out of her. She's so transparent it's easy to recognize her delight in these simple things and as her parent I feel good about the fact that things like smoothies and yogurt make her life rich. She hasn't come to expect lavish gifts and I'm also relearning how to appreciate life's simple pleasures again!

My point is: how wonderful would it be if we could keep the little, everyday things worth getting excited about! Not setting the bar higher and higher and giving our kids more of an expectation of what is worth delighting in vs. "normal" things.

But I still don't think it's quite as simple as that.

We hear alot about the sense of entitlement in our society and if we're going to change that by all means we have to start at home. Even in the little things like smoothies and yogurt. Because in the end I think not having expectations about what one should get (or "deserves") is what makes life rich.

If Caitlin got yogurt every time she asked for it (or whined for it, or grunted and pointed at it, etc), as a parent I could easily feel good knowing I am not depriving my child and am meeting her need. But just wait a minute! It's not her need, is it? It's actually her want and by giving it to her each time I am actually depriving her! Could that be?

I think richness in life is largely related to the perceived specialness of things. If everything becomes normal and Caitlin gets whatever she wants when she wants it (as long as it is in my power to give it to her--which becomes another issue altogether if it's not), then she's going to learn to expect to get her way in life. And her asking for fillintheblank becomes no request at all, but a demand. Saying "yes" to her request becomes nothing special at all but the way life is in her mind.

And although there's some good logic behind explaining parental reasoning to young children in an effort to help them understand, I think it's way overrated and also harmful in the long run (not to mention often ineffective in the short run). We're trying to teach Caitlin that what we say goes, often without explanation. We don't know why our government does everything it does. Or why others do what they do. Or what God's reasoning is for many things. Etc, etc. Why train our young kids that there needs to be an explanation before compliance? I do believe there is a time to begin explaining to children, but I don't think preschoolers need to know "why." The basic principle is this: Authority needs to be respected and in the case of parents and children, trusted.

So let's keep life rich for our children by teaching them to respect our "no"s (starting with us following through and enforcing them!) so our "yes"s actually mean something special. Let's not only bless our children but our society as well as we teach the next generation to acknowledge boundaries, celebrate the "allowed to"s, and most of all let go of this sense of entitlement and regain a hold on respecting authority.

Tis a rich life indeed when things like smoothies are all that's needed to make a day great.

"Men Can Take Anything, Except..."

Oh man, this one gets me every time!

A Little Getaway

With two young kids it's definitely not the most possible thing to steal away from them for even just 24 hours. But that's still what we managed to do this past weekend for our third anniversary! Grady planned this little excursion himself, reavealing only that I had to pack an overnight bag with clothes to do something "active" in. I was so thrilled at the thought of this amazing surprise (what wife wouldn't be!) and good thing I had the extra boost of energy because packing for the two kids just about took every ounce of organization I could muster-! (and then I still had to pack for myself-!)


Grady packed up our bikes in the back of the truck, we dropped the kids off at the grandparents (and also thanks goes to Debbie!) and we were off to our "mystery" location. Much to my delight an hour later we ended up in Lanesboro, MN, a place I had heard lots about and always wanted to visit. A quaint little town surrounded by rolling hills and rocky bluffs--such a wonderful backdrop to celebrate our anniversary.


We ate at the local diner that evening, enjoying the live, old time country music that reminded me of my grandpa. We stayed in the historical and cozy "Scanlan house" bed and breakfast, being spoiled to a three course breakfast that morning before we headed out on the Root River Trail. Our 10-mile round trip took us through a neighboring town that boasted "World Famous Pies" and served us a root beer float as we watched hummingbirds right out the window. The wildflowers were out in full color and we loved riding across the old wooden railroad bridges along the way. Our last meal was spent in "Das Wurst Haus" with another taste of live music as owner Arv oom-pah-pah-ed on his accordian and threw random German words into our interactions after finding out we lived in Germany and spoke German.

So fun, and over much too soon. Thanks honey!

Same Genes, Different Combo

Caitlin and Connor at three months. Siblings for sure!

Balloons Trump All

We celebrated Caitlin's 2nd birthday yesterday by making it an all around special day for her. She woke up to a card, gift, and balloons, wore a new dress to church (the ladybug one you gave her, Nat!), ate (partly) the ubersweet "Fancy Pants" pancakes at Perkins, and had Happy Birthday sung to her at least five different times. She also ended up taking a five hour nap, which made it a special day for Mama and Papa too-! It was a dreary, rainy day (I think this explains the nap length), but I'm pretty sure she at least caught on a little that there was something special about it. And for the record, don't worry about actual gifts for your next toddler's birthday present, just go out and get them $2 worth of heluim balloons--she carried them everywhere with her and wouldn't ever let them go! (see videos for evidence of this!)

Pay It Forward

My friend Laurie had this on her blog and I had to sign right up! And now I'd like to extend this fun offer to my friends and family as well. The idea is that the first five people to post a comment on this blog entry will receive something special from me sometime in the next year! Then you look for people to pay it forward to yourself.

Here's how it works:

1. Leave a comment letting me know you'd like to participate. You must be willing to provide me with a mailing address, obviously.

2. Post a "Pay it Forward" on your blog where you link back to me and extend the same offer to five of your readers. (again, if you don' have a blog, you can still participate maybe over FB, Twitter or just in 'real life' situations!)

3. Promise that you will follow through and send something special to those five who comment on your blog (or however you choose to do it!)

The little something's don't have to be extravagant, just something that you select with that specific person in mind. You know you want to comment!

Universal

"Stop. Hammertime."
:)

(props to sister-in-law Molly for sending this to me, love it!)

Enjoyable

The last few days I have been overwhelmed with enjoyment of this phase of life I'm in right now. That is not always the case (surprise, surprise-!), so I am especially grateful for these times.

With the majority of my time and attention spent "mothering," this is where most of these little joy gems occur. Lately, Caitlin walks around babbling, stringing together all the words she knows, occasionally looking up at me to give me the joy of figuring out what it is she's just stated. I'm getting pretty good at this game, although still not a pro at deciphering her versions of "book" and "bug" from one another...

Or when I'll peek down at Connor as he's nursing to catch his soft blue eyes looking up at me and he lets out a little coo or gurgle and a little grin and my heart just melts...

I can't help but smile to watch the interaction between these siblings now that Connor recognizes his sister and smiles when she's close. Caitlin's such a little mama to him already, taking care to always make sure a soother is nearby in case of a crying emergency (and describing to you in full two year old clarity that the soother is for when Connor cries, "wah wah wah").

I find myself daydreaming about who Caitlin and Connor will become, about what they'll look like in five and ten years, about how they'll be. It fills me with such joy to think of the God-filled future they will have and that I can enjoy this time with them as they start on this journey, learning how to make sense of life from scratch.

Oh That Frown

"Mama!? Seriously, what are you doing?"I love how the frowns are all eventually breaking through to smiles these days. So sweet.

I Had It Coming

Grady was my knight in shining armor this morning, getting up and feeding both kids, putting Connor down for his first nap and settling Caitlin in to play in the living room so I could catch an extra couple hours of sleep. When I finally made it out to the living room to see how Caitlin was doing, this is what I saw...I was stumped! The spots were so evenly spaced, but they would kind of rub off with my finger...they weren't red but more of a brownish color...hmmm...she must have put her face up against something, but what? Or could it be some kind of allergic reaction, maybe to her breakfast?? I checked her arms, etc, and the spots were only on the face...did she get a hold of a pen? But they were brown, not black, and so evenly spaced (that part really got me). Oh no! Poor Caitlin.

So I called Grady at work and he also had no idea, suggesting maybe chicken pox or something?? He let me go on a bit and worry until out came the words...
"April Fool's!"

Good one honey. Almost as good as the stunt I pulled on you two years ago...

One Year

I've been wanting to write a post about this for the last couple months, but am just now getting to it. In some ways it's much more pertinent to count back a year from now though, instead of from when we first arrived in Rochester. We had been here for a couple months and things were just starting to get, well, let's say, "interesting."

At this time last year we had just bought our new car (Toyota Matrix), we were thick in the search for a place to live, Caitlin hadn't begun to crawl yet, my sister was visiting, I was already beginning to feel lonely in my lack of friendships, we were searching for a church home, Grady had just begun to work for the startup company, "Hardcore Computer," we were dealing heavily with reverse culture shock and at a very low point in our marriage, the Canadian dollar was actually stronger than the American dollar for the first time since the 70s, gas prices were at an all-time high, and the snow was finally mostly melted after what seemed like a long winter (even though we only jumped into it in the middle!).

Well, the snow is once again finally melted, but that's the only similarity to this time last year.

It's not always so defined to think back to "one year ago" and remember what was going on, but in this case it is so clear for us. It is so refreshing to look back and be reminded that time does put so much in perspective. Life was super intense at this time last year; there were so many questions in our minds, so much unrest. It didn't stay that way though! (in some ways it actually got worse before it got better.)

When I look back next year, this is what I will remember about right now:
- the ecomony is officially in recession, and we are unsure how long Grady's job will last
- we welcomed a beautiful son into our family (--surprise!--) and are settling into life with him
- Caitlin is not only crawling, but walking, jumping, running and climbing everywhere plus chatting about it along the way
- we are gearing up to do a bit of a kitchen remodel in hopes of adding value to our home
- we have a home, and in our favorite neighborhood of Rochester too(!)
- we love our church family along with the friends we have made there and the challenging Bible studies we are a part of now
- I have found moms to meet with and get encouragement from who share the same parenting principles and am part of a fun and insightful book club, MOPS, and Mothers and More
- our marriage is not just surviving, but thriving (praise God!)
- our car has proven to be the perfect fit for our lifestyle and family
- my sister and her husband just passed their six month "anniversary" of marriage and of her living in Australia, and she's finally found a job too
- we still have "major missing Germany" moments, but are not bombarded and stressed with the constant small differences of the culture here anymore, what a relief

And all the time, God is there. Such a comfort!

What will you look back and see a year from now?

Earth Hour 2009

http://www.earthhour.org/home/

Ready For a Smooch

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

How Hard Can It Be?

Yesterday we ran around town trying to find a place to get Connor's passport picture taken. A little daunted by how precise the proportions and sizing is, we decided to forgo trying to do it at home ourselves. But you would have thought we were searching for buried treasure or something!

After being told that many places stopped doing them because of "liability" issues (whaaa??), we finally made it to Sears and paid $20 to have one snapped at the only studio in town that would. I'm thinking it's time to open an infant passport photo shop so Sears doesn't have such a monopoly on the market-! (sheesh we're lucky they didn't charge us $100! we might have paid it!)

Of course, this wouldn't be such a big deal if they hadn't changed the law, requiring even the tiniest of citizens to produce substantial proof of their non-terrorist intent by producing a passport. Eye color? Blue....for now. Hair color? Umm brown, no wait--blond, or is it kind of red? Do I have to mention it's currently in a permanent fauxhawk? Height and weight? ...you've got to be kidding me...

We went through all of this with Caitlin too, but that was way over there and it seemed more necessary. But to visit my parents in Canada...?

But if I do say so myself...I think it's about the cutest passport picture I've seen in awhile!

One Month

Connor hanging out today with our midwife, Rachel

Well I can't say we're any more caught up on sleep or that we even have the hang of having two kids any better, but a month has already come and gone since Connor arrived-! Hard to believe I've already nursed him over two hundred times and changed over a hundred and fifty diapers.

Connor couldn't be doing better. (Well, he could stop crying altogether, but I'm sure that wouldn't necessarily be a good thing-!) He's grown an inch in length and, get this, is already 8 lb, 12 oz as of today!! That's a whopping pound and ten ounces he's gained in one month-! (not to mention the six ounces he gained back after losing them the first day, which would put his weight gain at two pounds total.) Caitlin was always a huge eater but a small "grower" so it's quite the change to have this little man in our midst now! I'm going to call him Connor W, W as in weed, weed as in "growing like one"!! What a blessing to know he is thriving.

Happy 1 month, Connor!Caitlin playing Connor a 1 month birthday song on her new recorder

Spoiled Rotten

Last Sunday a "Welcome Connor" party was thrown for Connor and me by a couple friends from my MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) group. Basically, we were spoiled rotten!Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful gifts of clothes, giftcards, toys and blankets. But get this, we also came home with something no mother can do without....loads of DIAPERS!That's right. We now have 884 diapers, which, at a rate of about six per day should last until...September! Now that's a gift that keeps on giving! Thanks everyone!Here's one of the outfits for Connor--I had to post a pic of this one! (since the blog is its name-twin!) I'll post a couple pictures from the event itself when I get them off my friend's camera. Until then!*

*does it make sense to say this in English? it's a common expression in German but sometimes I forget which sayings transfer and which ones don't-!

Flying By and Running Together...

W-O-W...has life just zipped by in these last two weeks for anyone else? It's hard to believe that our little Connor is already past the two week mark. It probably doesn't help that our nights and days are still running a bit together...catching naps whenever possible and keeping Connor on a good schedule (and burping him even when it takes and hour in the middle of the night-!). Thankfully he's catching on to the idea of sleeping longer when it's dark out--for the most part--and I'm slowly but surely getting "used to" waking up at least once to feed him. Grady and I both laugh about how easily we had forgotten having gone through this stage with Caitlin--surely she slept through the night from the beginning?? haha. Another shock is hearing myself say I have two kids...whoa! Sounds so...established or something. And grown up! I thought I'd feel so much more responsible or "on top of things" at least when I had two kids, but instead it's moments of being overwhelmed and general over tiredness and exhaustion so far! But I know it's worth it. And just look at that sweet face, who couldn't help but fall in love with it!!

Happy Lovey Day

Whenever Caitlin's being affectionate or especially sweet we've called it being "lovey." At first she wasn't quite sure about her little brother but the last couple days she's been lovey with him and it just melts our hearts!Happy "Lovey" Day from our family to yours!
doesn't he look dashing!
(his shirt says, "Kiss Me, I'm a prince!")

Alas, We Have a Baby in Our Midst!

Announcing: Connor Reagan Maass, born Friday, February 6th at 9:57am, weighing 7 lbs, 2 oz, 20 inches long. Born at home with our midwife, Rachel Knudson, attending.

We went to sleep on Thursday night just like any other evening but around 1:30am I woke up to contractions, which I was able to doze off in between until around 4. We called our midwife, Rachel, and things picked up from there!

Rachel arrived around 6:30 to my intense and frequent contractions. Thankfully I had used the two hours previous to get my last minute tasks done around the house, because by then I was happy to just rest during the breaks. Opa (Grady's dad) came by to get Caitlin around 7, and she knew it was a special day, saying, "Baby! Baby!" and even mimicking my vocal sounds during contractions (low "Ohhhhhh" sounds). Cute!Grady fills the pool (and looks pretty chipper for 4am, wouldn't you say!)

The pool was filled a short time later and I got in to help with the intensity of the contractions. The water helped me relax but a short while later I got out as the urge to push overwhelmed me and I found myself actually "overheating" being in the warm water. Labor is hard, heat-producing work!

After much more intensity, hard work, and a little over an hour of pushing, our son was born--right here in our bedroom and actually beside the birthing pool (in which we had intended to deliver! haha). He arrived at 9:57am, with a full head of dark, curly hair, all 10 fingers and toes and a loud voice to top it off! We couldn't believe this little one we had been waiting for for so long was finally here!Papa is ecstatic! (picture taken immediately after birth)

We spent the next hour resting together in bed with his umbilical cord still attached to provide the last bit of sustenance it could give. Then Grady cut it and almost immediately the placenta was "born," and in one piece! With Caitlin, some of the placenta had ruptured needing me to be rushed into a D&C procedure to prevent major blood loss and severe hemorrhaging. Needless to say, it was quite a relief to avoid history repeating itself!Cuddle time with Mama (and her great hair I might add)

Three hours later, after much cuddle time and a good nurse, Rachel did his newborn exam. He weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces, was 20 inches long, with a head circumference of 14 inches. He had great coloring (healthy pink!) and was alert and looking around as she continued examining him. How wonderful to have such a beautiful, healthy baby boy. (And not a day "overdue" if you ask the midwife-! ...unlike what the "numbers" said...!)
newborn exam

We finally decided on a name this morning: Connor Reagan. Not long after that Caitlin met her brother for the first time and was just sooo sweet to him! What a precious blessing.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and thoughts during these past few weeks, we have felt their presence and blessing through this whole process (which includes waiting on his arrival in the past week especially!!). And get this: my contractions really didn't ever last "long enough" (never a whole minute as they're "supposed to") and even during pushing didn't come "frequent enough" (always five minutes apart if not longer-!) and these two factors are what concerned the doctor when I was in labor with Caitlin--enough that Pitocin (a synthetic hormone to increase both factors) was given as to "not put the baby in danger." Well now I'm proof that even with my irregularity a healthy baby was born--somehow--and even though it doesn't fit into how things "should" go, nature succeeded in the task at hand! God did design our bodies well, we just need to trust and know that. Praise him for his intelligent design and faithfulness in strengthening us in our times of need, can I get an "Amen!" :)

We'll post more pictures in the days to come, stay tuned!

Baby Brother

"Where's baby brother?" we've been asking Caitlin for some time now--most of the time she'll pat my belly, although she's also patted hers (and even Grady's, haha!) a time or two. But this past week it seems like she's especially grasping the concept of him being inside me, and also that he's a "baby." She's so sweet about it and I hope that continues when he's actually stealing the attention away from her-!sitting on the belly yesterday after our weekly meeting with our midwife

In Graph Form

Hilarious!

Our Family of Three's Latest Adventure

No baby yet! So on Saturday we went snowshoeing at a nature park in the area. Note to all expecting mothers (especially those relatively close and/or over their due date): don't rely too heavily on your snowshoes' traction on hills and packed snow and be ready for some reasonably sharp pain when your balancing muscles try to kick in but fail to engage (likely due to the extreme looseness due to your body's readiness to give birth or something). Yeah, that part I could have lived without-! Grady and Caitlin also had a rather dramatic run in with a steep river bank (thankfully the river was frozen and no major injuries resulted). But alas we all survived!Grady showcasing his snowshoes and a good shot of the 40+ week belly! (and Caitlin in her favorite sled!)

It's No Go Time...Still

How nice that even my baby ticker stops at 40 weeks! ---insert sarcasm--- Don't the designers of these things realize that women who go "over" don't need any more reminders that the baby is theoretically (although not necessarily technically) overstaying his welcome in the womb?! :)

In lieu of a) staying sane and b) laughing in the face of all things widget- and countdown-related, I give you my latest optimistic thoughts:

The Top Ten Awesomist* Things About Still Being Pregnant

10. No extra carseat to lug around when we go out. (and just being able to still go out without all the extra planning and preparation!)
9. Caitlin resting her arm on my belly when we sit down to read together (and then how she'll look at my belly when she feels it move--she might finally be starting to comprehend the concept of a baby in there!)
8. My belly is the perfect height/shape to sop up any water resting on the edge of the kitchen counter (particularly in front of the sink)--and I don't even have to try! (so admittedly it's convenient so to say, but not the best feeling to suddenly have a wet shirt, especially on the underside of the belly where I can't immediately assess the damage.)
7. My legs/feet tingle if I've been on them too long--a reminder to sit down and put them up. Aaah relaxation.
6. In my heightened emotional/hormonal state, Caitlin is turning out to be the cutest, sweetest, silliest, funnest, most adorable little girl and I am overflowing with love for her! (thank you oxytocin...)
5. Full nights of sleep. (or more technically: only being awakened by a full bladder which is quickly remedied and not necessarily requiring full consciousness!)
4. Only having one kid to think about/schedule for--when she naps so do I!
3. Having a belly that randomly moves independently--definitely still weird at times but I know I'll miss it when it's gone.
3a. Not having to worry about the "post baby pooch" yet--my "abs" are as firm as ever and I don't even work out-! (haha)
2. Have such a limited wardrobe to choose from means I'm not overwhelmed by deciding what to wear each morning.
2a. If I "feel" like eating or drinking something specific it must be the baby who wants it and who am I to deny him? :)
1. Who doesn't love an outie? (and an obvious one at that!)
1a. The spurts of extra energy and motivation to cook and clean are wonderful!

*this is so a word

Ignorance Can Be Annoying

Y'know what I think the hardest part about planning a natural childbirth is?

It's not gathering the supplies, or setting up the bed, or sorting through all the baby clothes to find the neutral ones...

It's not organizing for people to bring meals by afterward, or reading all the right information, or being sure to find time to talk with Grady about our expectations for the labor and delivery...

It's not even the increasing weight needing to be carried around as this baby grows larger with each passing day making me increasingly slower while trying to effectively mother a toddler who is becoming increasingly faster...

No no no. None of those things are the hardest.

It's the not knowing!! The "waiting on the baby's timing" thing. The, "ooh this contraction is a bit uncomfortable, maybe it's the beginning of labor!" thoughts that seem to never pan out. The, "do I even make fun plans for this weekend? I'd hate to miss out on them if he did come before then," wonderings. The, "I've stopped being productive in every way, shape or form and it'd sure be nice to be able to choose from more than my two pairs of pants and three shirts that still fit!" hopes.

I could get all philosophical here (well, I kinda did last time)--and it is interesting to think about the general "unable to be planned to a tee"-ness of the whole natural birth process. But I won't--mostly because if I stop here I can still get a nap in while Caitlin snoozes too. How classy am I! (ha.)

Anyway, I know many of you can't wait to hear the big news--just know I'm right there with you-!

(but for the record I am enjoying the full nights of sleep that are still available for the taking!)

Give Me Your Best Guess!

Well now it's your turn to reveal if maybe you know something we don't! Leave a comment with your best guesses. It's always fun to look back after and see who ended up being right!

1. What day will the baby be born?
2. How much will he weigh? And how long will he be?
3. Will I be able to stay at home for everything as planned? Or do you think I'll have to transport to the hospital for some reason?
4. How long do you think my labor will be?
5. Birthing in water (as planned) or on "land"?
6. How long will it take us to name him? (for the record we have a list of about ten possibilities at the moment...)
7. Will he actually turn out to be a girl instead? (always a possibility!)
8. Will he have hair (what color?) or be bald?

Aaaaand.....GO! :)

39 Weeks and Still Going Strong

Wow, almost there! The picture is from today after I had my weekly visit with our midwife. Everything is looking fabulous and I can't complain either, he's definitely growing but my body is somehow much more capable of handling the extra weight/shape than last time 'round. I'm still reasonably "moveable" although I'll let Caitlin or others pick stuff up off the floor for me any chance I get! We're getting close but please for my sanity's sake don't keep asking me if I've had the baby yet, etc etc. (many thanks in advance!) Rest assured there'll be plenty of pics and details right here when the big event does happen, I promise I won't go weeks without reporting! :) I think for the benefit of everybody let's just all plan to meet the new Mr. Maass sometime around mid-February, and if he shows up early then we'll all be surprised!

"I Don't Need These Glasses..."

This commercial cracks me up!

Family Center

Well we didn't *quite* make it, but the point of this photo was to have our family "centered" under the sign...haHAhaha....(we are so funny and we know it.) :)My parents left yesterday after a wonderful ten-day visit. We've really been missing them around here--the house is just so, empty!

Some highlights were the multiple barbecued steak dinners, watching them interact with Caitlin, completing some much needed home improvement projects, playing guitars together (with Caitlin strumming a few chords too), and celebrating my dad's 55th birthday at a local hamburger joint downtown with double chocolate cake to follow. It was especially cute to hear Caitlin make her attempt at saying, "Happy Birthday Dzadiu!" (which was actually fairly understandable!)

Caitlin helping Grandma sew

And now life resumes a little farther than where we left off, and the challenge now is to stay sane and busy enough until the baby comes! Despite my dad's numerous attempts to somehow induce my labor as to share a birthday with his grandson, I am still "with child." I hear the next date to shoot for is Feb 10th, although that sounds a bit too far away and I'm just going to apologize now to my late grandfather Frank for not delivering on his birthday either! (although watch, now that I've mentioned it I'll end up going the full two weeks over and delivering then...ha! yeah the joke would totally be on me then...)

Caitlin is continuing to amaze us all with her ever increasing repertoire of skills--she has picked up about five more signs (words in sign language, bringing her to about 25 now) in the last week or so and now says the words as she signs them too. Not to mention that her words are much more clear and understandable in general, and when we ask her to repeat us it actually sounds like she is now (instead of just mumbling incoherently!). She is becoming a champ at first time obedience, coming, not touching, putting things back and toys away, etc, when we instruct. She's also got the hang of using "pleeeeease" when she's asking for something, yippee! Her silly streak is becoming more predominant too and she's always up for some kind of game, be it tickling, flirting, poking, peekaboo or teasing, even initiating at times. I am so glad she's becoming more independent and is definitely seeming more of the "big sister" type, which couldn't come at a better time!!

Warm Wishes

...to you and your family this holiday season! My parents are here visiting (aka "spoiling the granddaughter") until the 7th and it's been nice to have them here since we are banned from traveling too far this year. We are drawing ever nearer to the inevitable addition of our second child and although we are dreading the busyness that will follow (translation: sleep deprivation!) we are looking forward to meeting this little guy who feels like such an intricate part of our family already. Hope your 2009 is off to a promising start! a glimpse of our Christmas card this year