Our Own Time Zone

One of the possessions we appreciatively inherited from the Stoltes as they moved out of Dresden while we moved in was a nice looking, wall hanging clock. It doesn’t look super fancy or anything, just like a regular, round, kitchen clock, and that’s precisely where we hung it.

The amazing thing about this clock though, is that it’s “radio controlled.” Do you know what that means? Once an AA battery is popped in the back it promptly sets itself to the exact official time it receives by some signal. The precise technicalities are foggy to me, but it keeps good time like any clock should and that’s enough info for me (and it doesn’t need to be set, woohoo!).

This technological wonder has hung contentedly in our kitchen since we got our landlord to hammer a nail into one of the walls (he insists he do it) a few months after we moved in. It was the main clock I relied on to accurately relay how fast I’d have to walk through the Waldpark to the tram to be on time for the German class I took, not to mention the countless times throughout the day when a quick glimpse reminded me about some prearranged appointment. I owe much of the orderliness and success of my daily life to this clock.

Now as of about three weeks ago our clock took on a mind of its own. One day I briefly glanced up and had to gasp at the complete nonsense in front of me. Our clock was four hours slow! (ok, ok or eight hours fast, take your pick.)

It wasn’t that it had simply stopped running because it needed a new Energizer. No, the clock was still ticking away, maintaining the absolute correct “minute.” Hmm.

Amy and I went to work trying to think of what had come over our staple of reliability and decided maybe the clock was just confused. After all, the battery couldn’t be dead, it was still running-! Plus, our other radio controlled clock (a digital one on the shelf in the bathroom) was still reading the right time so it couldn’t have been some kind of mass signal error.

After prying out the battery and then sliding it back into place, the hands spun around and finally rested on the right time. We breathed a sigh of relief.

However, the next day at a little after four o’clock as we were sitting at the kitchen table the stinkin thing just took off spinning and reset itself four hours behind the correct time. What is going on here!

I write this after a few weeks of this occurrence and must add that no matter what time we pull the battery out and put it back in and the right time appears, a little after four in the afternoon the time becomes a couple minutes past noon. Every day! Unless the time is already four hours behind because we hadn’t done the battery trick. Then it somehow stays the four hours behind it already was.

So as if we weren’t having enough trouble trying to figure out time differences as to not wake our parents/friends up by calling in the middle of the night, etc, now we have to think about the actual time zone of our kitchen as compared to the rest of Germany too. And it’s not even wrong by a convenient seven or eight hours behind (Amy’s and my home time zone differences, respectively), so it’s just really useless. We can’t even think of a place in the world with this exact time…somewhere in China maybe?

I forgot to mention earlier that the kicker (or should I say “ticker” since we’re talking about clocks?) to this whole thing is that in fine print under the “6” on the face of the clock it reads, “German Technology.” So maybe that’s it, we can’t figure it out because we’re not German. Man, it’s this cool invention...well it would be, if it would work!

I can’t help but wonder if the battery really is just on it’s last leg and needs to be replaced, but why won’t the clock just admit defeat? Why the four hours behind routine? Does it use less energy that way?

So if I call any of you inconveniently early or am an hour or two late for my next lunch meeting…sorry but I’m gonna have to blame it on that German technology, radio-controlled clock.

'Stop giving me a hard time about being single'

By Karen Salmansohn (taken from www.msn.com)

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:
Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha*: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: Jesus**—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.

*although full of many wise sayings, for the record Buddha is not one of my role models
**the original article said "God" but I feel that due to my extensive Biblical knowledge "Jesus" fits this description much more accurately...wouldn't you agree? :)

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.

Whad'dya Mean Barq's Has Bite?

One of the things not available in Germany that I miss is root beer. And more specifically, Barq's Root Beer. For some reason Germans are convinced it tastes like medicine and refuse to go near the stuff. I'm wondering why we didn't have medicine that tasted that good! I probably would have been a lot more willing to take it, that's for sure. And does anyone remember the Barq's ad campaign from a few years ago? Their slogan is "Barq's has bite" but for awhile there was this commercial with this little dog saying, "Whad'dya mean Barq's has bite?" while this other guy confusingly looked over and asked, "Johnny?" and the dog would repeat, "Whad'dya mean Barq's has bite?" and the guy would again say, "Johnny?" and this would go on long enough for the whole tv audience to want to rush out and buy Barq's Root Beer (isn't mass consumption the goal of every commercial? anyway...). I got a kick out of that commercial and still like to quote it sometimes, even though no one knows what I'm talking about. So let the record show that I love and miss my Barq's Root Beer.

So while we're on the topic of biting (remember, Barq's has bite) I should share a story of my week here in Dresden. While innocently on my way up to Marion's apartment for our usual Monday night English Bible study this past Monday, a malicious little terrier (or "terror-er" as my dad re-named it) decided he should have some bite too. Out of my leg. (No kidding-!) His owner put him down on the ground (he was even on a leash) and I walked by and before I knew it got nipped in the back of the leg by that meany. The lady was really nice about it though--apparently her dog had bitten someone else before so she gladly offered me her insurance information and was very cooperative. I did have to go to the doctor the next day though, which has not become a favorite activity of mine simply because of all the waiting. I needed ten minutes with the doctor but I sat and sat and sat, waiting for my name to be called. When I finally got in to see the Frau Doktor she confirmed my hopes that I would indeed survive and sent me off to have my tetanus shot updated. After more waiting I finally emerged and can proudly say that after being bitten in the leg and shot in the arm in one 24-hour period, I'm doing pretty well...although I'd say I've had enough excitement for one week-!

Now I wonder if my wound would heal faster if I only had some Barq's with bite to counteract it. Two bites cancel each other out, wouldn't you think?

Biking Bliss

our bike trip along the Elbe

Last Sunday morning Lynnette and I met down by the Elbe river to see how far we could bike before having to turn around to be on time for worship service. By 7:45am we were on our way, stopping occasionally to take in the scenery or get a drink of water. The day was hot but the breeze was perfect and we stopped to eat lunch at our turn around point, a place called Koenigstein (a king's fortress), which is a little over 30km away from Dresden! We rode back along the paved path in time to enjoy some homemade ice cream before showering up and heading to the church building at 3:30pm. What a day of adventure and fun!