I Love Puns

Just ask Amy how her lack of laughing doesn't stop me from continuing to enjoy reading all the great puns my dad emails to me aloud. So now you get to be in on the fun too! (and btw I'm blogging this from Poland! Yippee!)

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead giveaway!)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.

aahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaaaa... :)

Quotes to Live By

Some of the best insight into life can be expressed most effectively not by thinking of your own words, but by using others’. Here are some examples:

Manny: “Sid, the tiger found a short cut.”
(Sid looks up to see a small opening at the bottom of huge cliffs of ice)
Sid: “No thanks, I choose LIFE.”
(Ice Age)
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Will: “Jack! Where’s Elizabeth?”
Jack: “Don’t worry, she’s safe just like I promised, she’s set to marry Norrington just like she promised, and you get to die for her just like you promised. So we’re all men of our words really, except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.”
(Pirates of the Caribbean)
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“Un-believable.” –Handsome Rob (Italian Job)
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“Ahhhh, MENSCH!” –my German Grandma, Marion’s mom (when playing Phase 10 and she draws a card she doesn’t like) (the equivalent of "Ahh MAN!" in English)
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“The vi-o-lin siings, with joy-ful riings…”
“The clarinet, the clarinet, goes dood-l-y-dood-l-y dood-l-y dood-l-y det…”
“The horn, the horn, it sounds so for-lorn…”
(You’ve Got Mail)
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"Albuquerque! Snorkel! See I can do it too..." -funny sidekick whose name I can't remember(National Treasure)
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“You are allowed to show your pleasure.” –the old rich guy after proposing (Shakespeare in Love)
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Commodor Norrington: “You are by far the WORST pirate I’ve ever heard of.”
Jack: “Aah, but you HAVE heard of me.”
(Pirates of the Caribbean)
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“You know why they don’t have to have major security checks when you leave an airport? Because if they guard what goes IN they don’t have to worry about what comes OUT.” –Larry Sullivan (sermon about watching what you put in your mind and heart)
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“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?” Mr. Collins replied, “They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.” Mr. Bennets’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and expect in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austin)
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“And then they made me their chief.” –Jack (Pirates of the Caribbean)
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Visini: “Inconceivable!”
Inego: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
(Princess Bride)
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Chandler: “heh heh…Whaa-pahh!”
Ross: “What was that?”
Chandler: “Y’know, whipped. Whaa-pahhhh!”
Joey: “That’s not whipped. Whipped is whu-psssh!”
Chandler: “That’s what I did, whaaa-pahh!”
Joey: “You can’t do anything-!”
(Friends)
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1"When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down 2and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11"Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. 12You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble."
-Matthew 5 (MSG)
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“And then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiith! …a HERRING! [scary music]” –Knight who until recently said “Ni” (Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail)
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“All right, you have fat hair. But when you’re ready to talk, I’m right here.” –Sid (Ice Age)

I Got a Visa! (And I Don't Mean a Credit Card)

"So then you are no longer strangers and aliens..." -Ephesians 2:19a

Well it's official, I'm allowed to live here in Germany until October 28, 2005! It all began sometime at the beginning of October when the rush of Amy's 3 month grace period ending was felt full force and we found ourselves (with Randy, thankfully) sitting in an overpacked hallway waiting for our previously taken number to come up. I was only picking up the ever-important application form…the first step in this long progression toward my visa. I picked it up and waited for about 30 more minutes until Amy successfully dropped off her completed application—step one done.

Step two meant actually filling out the application which is more tricky than it sounds. The nice german government translated each field into a number of other languages but unfortunately the english one didn’t always clear up the confusion. Direct translation doesn’t always work.

Before it was my turn to drop it off I had to go to another office and get an official residence form…a government approved form saying that I officially live at Goetheallee 19. Don’t want to only be pretending to live there or something! A few days after I got this form done we went to finally drop it off. Thirty minutes after arriving and taking a number I went into the office, showed my passport, Randy answered a few questions (not to mention cleaned a pen spot off the counter while we waited…he SPIT on it…the lady gave him the WEIRDEST look-!) and I got a receipt. I should look for it in the mail within 2-3 weeks.

So then the official form came in the mail saying I could take my passport and some money and receive my beloved visa…so a week later stood Randy and I in the same hallway we had become so accustomed to, waiting for my number to come up. It did, so I went in, sat down, showed all the correct paperwork and my passport, signed something official, and tra-la, it was done!

So the moral of the story is that I indeed did finally get a couple official looking stickers stuck into my passport in case anyone official needs to know. My next challenge will be figuring out what all those German words mean on the "conditions" side of the visa...words like Erwerbstaetigkeit and Arbeitsgenehmigungspflichtige... and yes for those of you who are counting that last one is 29 letters long (longer than the whole alphabet itself). Can’t wait until October 2005 when this whole process starts over…

Rules for Dealing with Germans

"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." -1 Corinthians 9:22b

I found this rather true and thought I would share a glimpse into the culture I am trying to understand. Please pray for me! (From the book When in Germany, Do as the Germans Do by Hyde Flippo.)

"Everyone is not alike!

1. Remember that Germans really hate rule breakers!
2. Germans and Americans do not think and act alike in social and business situations--especially in first encounters. Get over the myth that "we're all basically alike." It sounds good, but this mind-set is counterproductive.
3. Germans tend to be blunt, frank, and--to Anglo-Americans eyes--tactless in certain situations. They tend to correct you when you don't want to be corrected. That's because they are primarily concerned with exchanging facts and information, not "warm fuzziness." Since they also do this with other Germans, try to understand that you have not been singled out for special treatment.
4. Germans aren't into "idle chatter." They don't really care if you "have a nice day" (an expression they view as a symbol of American "superficiality"), and they don't want to talk about (a) their jobs, (b) their kids or family, or (c) the weather with a stranger (ie. anyone they haven't known for at least a year or more). Such conversation is reserved for close friends.
5. Both the German language and the Germans draw a clear line between Freunde (du/ihr) and Bekannte (Sie), between private (home) and public (work). You are a Bekannte(r) and on Sie terms until your German counterpart says otherwise. This is one of the most difficult rules for easygoing, just-call-me-Bob Americans to truly grasp and internalize.
6. Germans have been known to smile, but unnecessary smiling is frowned on. A German needs to a good reason to smile. In fact, excessive smiling for most Europeans is an indication of weak-mindedness. Don't overdo smiling around Germans. At heart, Germans are pessimists, and they enjoy their pessimism. Don't deprive them of that pleasure. Corollary to Rule 6: Never try to tell a joke in German. Leave this to professionals like Harald Schmidt (a well-known German night-show host) or Germans who have had too much to drink. Germans have a sense of humor, but is has no resemblance to either the American or British variety. It takes many years to delve into the German sense of humor.
7. Learn and accept Rules 1 through 6. Don't think you can (or should) change people. Learn to adjust to them, rather than expecting them to adjust to you. If you react with indignation or anger, even privately, then you are displaying a profound lack of
   understanding of the culture in which you're trying to function.
   
   There are a few Germans who don't fit the preceding rules, but all six of them are now living in the United States or Canada.
   

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As a disclaimer I must mention that thankfully most of these rules don't apply when dealing with fellow Christians here in Dresden. It is such a relief!

A Summary of Life in Dresden Thus Far

"Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live."-1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (MSG)

I figured now would be a good time to recap some of the usual and then not-so-usual events that have occured since I moved here 2 and a half months ago. If the description is not sufficient feel free to email me and ask more, and if you don't want to do that, too bad for you. :)

I got splashed while standing at a tram stop by a car driving fast through a puddle, yep, soaked as I was going out for the day. And that guy didn't have to hit that puddle, I think he did it on purpose!

Only here have I eaten Polish soup along with Irish butter on German bread from an American bowl sitting on top of a Swedish placemat wearing my Spanish slippers and a sweater I bought in Canada but is really made in Hong Kong!

Twice I have answered the phone only to find someone I don't know speaking much too fast in German on the other end, although the second time I was able to stutter something to the effect of "This is the wrong number" in German (I hope that's what I said).

I deposited money into my German bank account and then realized afterwards that the teller miscounted the money and I ended up losing 10 euro. Boo!

Dresden is a medium-sized city, not a place where one often runs into acquaintances or friends by accident. But one day I caught the bus after meeting with Lynnette that morning and much to my surprise saw her not even 10 minutes later on her bike, on the other side of town! How she noticed me on the bus and was already waving at me when I finally saw her continues to baffle me!

I never thought this day would come, but due to the unusual size of Euro spoons I have become accustomed to eating soup and cereal with a spoon bigger than the size of an American tablespoon. Talk about feeling like I'm shovelling my food in my face...5 bites and I'm done-!

I was riding my bike in a huge park in the middle of the city, enjoying the fall colors, when I noticed a woman with no less than 10 small dogs off leash surrounding her as she walked down the path. I was in awe! What was even more humorous was that trailing behind his buddies was a straggler, probably 50 meters back from the group. He was just prancing along the path, totally content and not in any hurry because his owner and doggie friends were easily seen way up ahead. I had to laugh out loud.

I have taken advantage of our wonderful, deep bathtub and made it a custom to spend at least 20 minutes most nights in a hot bubble bath. I have yet to turn permanently into a prune.

I am quickly getting used to German radio thanks to 102.5 fm, Energy Radio. They re-play the same core collection of songs so often that within a day I was recognizing songs I had only begun hearing not even 24 hours earlier. Not so different from the hit music stations in the US or Canada!

It used to get dark fairly late here, but now that daylight savings time is out of the picture dusk sets in around 4:30pm every day. Needless to say, it feels much later than that, especially when venturing home from the tram stop and walking through the creepy Waldpark...but as of yet I have survived each journey, and am especially proud to say that probably half of them were by myself. Compliments on my bravery are appreciated. :)

A well-known brand in Canada is MEC, or Mountain Equipment Co-op for you American readers. In Edmonton it is quite common to see many people with a similar coat as you or the same fleece pullover in a different color and such. But who would have expected that I would see someone with the same backpack as me here in Dresden-! The same color and everything...a sure sign that he is a cool Canadian.

I have driven a German-made Volvo! Ok only like 10 blocks, but still. The last thing I expected to do here was drive-!

In 2 months I have for some reason found it necessary to defrost not just our freezer but our fridge as well. Our fridge especially had collected a nice mass of ice on the back of it, but after an hour with a blowdryer I was victorious! (and we finally had ice for our drinks...ok not really, ewwww...)

As I was coming out of the elevator one day on my way to the church meeting area there stood a man who couldn't have been more than 30. As the doors opened and I started stepping out, I noticed that this fellow was obviously waiting for the elevator, but suddenly he dropped a pen he was carrying. He bent down to retrieve it and in the process of picking it up it slipped out of his hand again and with some odd movement of his arm he ended up flinging it farther back away from the elevator. It was very odd! That startled him and I could tell he was suddenly torn over what he should do, go after his pen again and risk losing the elevator or not (not to mention he seemed a little flustered probably because I was standing there watching). I sensed his dilemma and unsure of what to do I quickly decided to take the few steps back to the elevator to hold the door for this poor guy with no grip until he could successfully grasp his beloved writing utensil. He did finally get ahold of it and after he was safely on the elevator I walked away wondering if that had all actually happened.

Unleavened bread is not something that's hard to bake, but I have successfully ruined it despite newfound success in other areas of baking. I guess forgetting about it and it baking for 40 minutes instead of 20 could be seen as an obvious cause of failure...

I was recounting an experience at a nearby grocery store to Amy the other day and in an attempt to reference the male cashier said, "I got checked out by this guy..." Oops.

At the fair I joined my HIM sponser Randy as we got strapped into a metal, round cage and watched as the massive collection of springs slowly "loaded" while we waited in much anticipation. The cage, which had been held by a strong magnet to the ground, suddenly shot no less than the speed of a bullet to the heavens and it was as my stomach came into my mouth--for the second time--that I wondered why I hadn't thought more about my decision to commmit to this ridiculous ride. If I had known beforehand that we were not only on video but miked as well I might have stifled my screams a bit more-!

Cobblestone looks really cool. But going over it on a bike at exactly the WRONG speed feels like your teeth are about to get violently rattled out of your head. Not so fun.

Banana boxes are good sized boxes, and it's not every day that you see someone (especially Germans who, completely unknown to me, somehow avoid all awkward appearing situations...I've never seen one have too many groceries to carry or a large piece of furniture despite that most people don't own cars and only use public transportation) carrying not just one, but SIX, all stacked on top of each other. How he knew where he was going is beyond me...and what does he need with all those bananas anyway?

I went to Poland last Saturday and was thrilled to use some of the Polish words I learned from my Babcia (Grandma) as a child. And much to my surprise after thanking one of the ladies in her native tongue she asked if I could speak Polish! I proceeded to list off the few words I knew and she complimented me graciously, saying that I had no accent! Booyah! The best part was that it was in front of the 3 others I was with so I have witnesses and they know I didn't make it up! :)

I don't understand German humor. Actually I might even go as far as saying it seems that German's don't have a sense of humor, purely because I haven't experienced it. However the exception makes the rule. So, meet Gerald, a member of the church here and someone who's humor I do understand, mostly because it is so goofy. For example, Amy and I were walking to the tram, through the Waldpark (it was day, thank goodness) and much to our surprise looked up just in time to recognize Gerald jogging toward us. He promptly swerved to behind a tree, and with us obviously having seen him he didn't stay there for long, just long enough for us to get a good laugh. On another occasion Amy and I saw Gerald across a wide street, again as we were on our way to wait for the tram. He was headed the opposite direction, and we waved, knowing he was on his way out of town for the weekend. His tram came first and as it passed Amy and I standing there we scanned the tramcars to wave goodbye to our silly friend. I had about given up hope that we would see him through a window when a white hankerchief caught my attention from the back of the last car. Gerald was breaking all German rules and norms and was waving a white kerchief through the window at us, such a dramatic farewell! Amy and I couldn't help but laugh, alot.

Upwords is a game similar to Scrabble but played on a much smaller board and with the option to build on top of others' words. Being in Germany one might expect that had I played this game it would be purely in German, but how about the marvelous feat of playing in both English and German...at the same time. As if I wasn't confused enough-!

How to Tell a Witch

"...our mouth was filled with laughter..." -Psalm 126:2

An exerpt from one of the most ridiculous movies of all time, Monty Python: The Search for the Holy Grail. I get a kick out of it every time-!

Man 1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Crowd Shouting: Burn 'er, burn 'er!!
Judge: How do you know she is a witch?
M1: She looks like one!
CS: Yeah! Looks like one, looks like one.
J: Bring her forward.
Lady: I'm not a witch, I'm NOT a witch.
J: But you are dressed as one.
L: They dressed me up like this!
CS: Nah, no, boo!
L: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!
J: Well?
M1: Well we did do the nose...
J: The nose?
M1: And the hat...but she is a witch!
CS: Yeah, burn 'er!
J: Did you dress her up like this?
M1(&CS): No!...yes, yeah a bit (a bit, a bit)
M1: She has got a wart-!
J: What makes you think she is a witch?
Man 2: Well she turned me into a newt!
J: A newt?
[silence]
M2: I got better.
M1(&CS): Burn 'er anyway! (much ruckus)
J: Quiet, quiet, quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
M1(&CS): Are there? What are they? Tell us!
J: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
M2: Burn 'em!! (CS: Burn them up!)
J: And what do you burn apart from witches?
M2: MORE witches!! (someone hits him)
Man 3: Wood?
J: Good. Why do witches burn?
[silence]
M2: Because they're...made of...wood?
J: Gooooood! (CS: ahh yeah)
J: So! How do we tell whether she is made of wood?
M1: Build a bridge out of 'er!
J: Aah but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
M1: Aww yeah.
J: Does wood sink in water?
M1: Ahh no! It floats! (CS: it floats!)
M2: Throw her in the pond! (Crowd yelling)
J: But what also floats in water?
M1: Bread.
M3: Apples!
M2: Uhh, very small rocks.
Man 4: Cider.
Man 5: Gra-gravy!
M1: Cherries
M2: Mud
M4: Lead, lead!
King Arthur: A duck.
J: Exactly. So lo-gi-ca-lly...
M1: If she weighs the same as...a duck...she's made of wood...and...a WITCH!
CS: A witch! A witch!

Baking Disasters

"Pharaoh restored the chief cupbearer to his position...But he hanged the chief baker, as Joseph had interpreted to them." -Genesis 40:21-22

So it turns out that we all know the fate of Pharaoh's chief baker, the poor guy. I can't imagine I'd have any better a fate considering I am nowhere near a master of baked goods, despite my attempts. Since being here there have been a couple of instances where I lucked out and ended up making something that didn't taste too bad, but it seems that more often than not it turns into a huge disaster! Take today, for example. I had a couple free hours and amidst vacuuming and doing laundry I decided to immerse myself completely in domestic duties by baking. Wahoo, right? :) Well, we have finally acquired much of the hard-to-come-by ingredients (such as baking soda) and I got a great recipe from my mom that I was determined to follow perfectly. I even went as far as to make half the batter into muffins and the other half into a loaf, but 15 minutes into the 30 minute cooking period I glanced into the oven to discover, to my dismay, very dark brown colored intruders where my perfectly rising and baking goods were supposed to be-! Aah! Not cool! What went wrong! I mixed everything perfectly! Maybe it was the tiny oven? Or all the german ingredients that are just a little different? Or having pans that are too thin? Eh. I might try again in a couple weeks but for now I have 6 hockey pucks and one very flat, square, heavy frisbee. So much for me becoming a nicely domesticated girl, but if anyone is running short of sporting equipment... :)

I really can't complain though, at least I'm not about to get hanged.

No More Sugar Thanks, I'm Sweet Enough

Last night we gathered at Marion's home for our weekly Monday night English Bible study. As usual there was a whole table full of food for us to munch on, as well as what has become my favorite kind of tea here, green tea with lemon and ginger. I poured myself a cup and reached over for the sugar, as usual. Marion has this cool container for her sugar that pours it out one teaspoon at a time. So I casually tipped it over above my cup, as I had done so many times before and much to my surprise the lid came off and approximately one cup of sugar landed in my cup and on the surrounding area, including my feet (my cup was at the edge of the table). It was like that trick when you unscrew the lid of the salt shaker and then watch as the next unsuspecting diner ends up with a little lunch with their salt instead of the other way around. But this time nobody had rigged the sugar "shaker"! It was my own doing and all that could be done was to laugh and get out the vacuum, while apologizing profusely to Marion for wasting all her precious sugar...Germans hate wasting things! Yikes... I was sure not to waste the "tea" (or liquid sugar) and drank it down as best I could. It reminded me of some of that "sweet tea" I had while living in Oklahoma ...they say it's not sweet enough if you can't actually SEE the sugar through the glass. Oh I could see it last night...and I was really alert for that study (I've never thought so clearly-!).

Wrong Number?

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes..." -Proverbs 26:4-5

Ok so yesterday as Amy and I were walking to catch the tram I received a rather unusual phone call on my cell phone. A number showed up that I did not recognize, but as I am still adjusting to life here I just figured it was someone I probably knew and pressed the green button, confidently saying, "Hallo!". I then heard an animated voice on the other end, with which I had a conversation that went something like this: (phone ringing to a quite lovely classical ring tone...)

Me: Hallo?
Unknown Caller: Hallo...[indistinguishable German]
Me: Uhh...hallo?
UC: Hallo?
Me: Hallo!
UC: [more indistinguishable German]
Me: uhh...bitte? (the word used here to imply you didn't hear/understand and the other person should repeat or reword what they said...I've been saying it a lot since moving here)
UC: Oscar?
Me: haha...umm...no...this is not Oscar's phone.
UC: Wo ist Oscar? (where is Oscar)
Me: I don't know...he is not here...this is my phone (thinking: do Germans say, "You've got the wrong number" in situations like this? I have no idea)
UC: [even more indistinguishable German]...Oscar?
Me: No...Oscar ist...nicht...hier...? (Oscar isn't here)
UC: haha...wo ist Oscar! (where is Oscar)
Me: Uhh...(I give up!) ich spreche kein Deutsch. (I don't speak German)
UC: Warum nicht? (why not)
Me: (what! why not?!) haha I don't know...err...ich weiss nicht...? (I don't know)
UC: uhh...English?
Me: Yes! (since I've been speaking it all along)
UC: Where is Oscar?
Me: This is my phone and there is no Oscar here (umm, I really feel like I'm repeating myself)
UC: no Oscar?
Me: ...You have the wrong number...? ...Sorry...
UC: Wrong number? Oh.
Me: Ok bye...
UC: uhh...ok. [click]

So if anyone knows where Oscar is please contact me. Then next time I'll be so ready to tell Mr. "Unknown Caller" where to find his missing compadre...ha!

God the Romantic

"GOD told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!" -Jeremiah 31:3 (MSG)"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23

Do we realize how much God loves us?

And I don't mean love only in the unconditional, fatherly love that we hear so much of. Don't get me wrong, it is a powerful love still, but if we focus merely on that we miss so much. I have been reading the book The Sacred Romance and at first was very skeptical about the ideas proposed by the authors about God wanting to romance our soul. But as I have continued to read it is starting to make sense that God not only has my best interests at heart and has looked after my eternal well-being by sending Jesus, but he also longs for a deep relationship with me, as complex as what married people share with each other. He is impacted by my actions and I have the choice to return his love and bring him joy or ignore that wonderful reality and try to earn my way into his favor. Or worse yet, ignore it altogether and get caught up in the daily busy-ness of life and pursuing my own happiness. How sad that so many people don't grasp the intense love that God longs for us to bask in.

What happens when you love someone and are loved in return? You are not scared to be yourself, right? And who cares what others think of you, you are loved and that's all that matters. Someone wants to know you for YOU, quirks and all. When you are seperated from that person you think of them often and can't wait to be with them again. They brighten your day. They make your heart sing.

Does God have this place in our lives? Do we get excited when we think of him and blush when we tell of the way he loves us to our friends, not quite believing that he picked us? Why don't we? Satan is all too good at seperating us from our hearts and deadening our senses, constantly sending us messages that it is all too good to be true. We rarely if ever experience this love in our human relationships, and it usually comes with hiding the ugly, undesirable parts of ourselves. Noone could love those.

Aah but God does! That's what makes it so wonderful. He loves us where we're at. He loves us INTENSELY, despite our flaws and sins. We are unfaithful lovers, constantly doing our own thing without the slightest concern for how it affects our Love. Our "Love". We must start treating him with the respect and faithfulness, for of anyone he is the one who will NEVER leave, NEVER disappoint, and NEVER EVER act out of selfishness. He loves us perfectly.

What is keeping us from doing our absolute best to make him the center of our lives? He will never break our hearts. Stop with comparing to others and let go of your insecurity. Somebody loves you! Oh and not just somebody, THE One and Only.

Let's throw off all doubt and lavish our love back on him!

Singles Retreat

"When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God." -1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (MSG)

Retreat. Relax. Rest. When I think of these words from my North American perspective, I generally think of a fairly spontaneous activity. Like leisure. There's another word that to me implies an "activity" (if you can call it that) that is done on a whim, whenever I feel like it. Well not in Germany. It is a land of rules, and as such there is a specific time for everything. If it's not in the schedule don't even think about it!

So! Lucky for Amy and me we experienced a truly German "Freizeit" (or Retreat, in English). It was a wonderful weekend scheduled for leisure and relaxation (is that an oxymoron to anyone else?) and proved very spiritually refreshing. It was quite the trek to get there though, let me tell you.

We were out of the apartment by 815am and on a train to Leipzig by 915. We arrived there at 11 and met up with the missionary there, with whom we rode the rest of the way. We left Leipzig at 1 (or 1300 in Europe) in a spacious euro-style "mini van" that comfortably seated the 5 of us that went together, but that doesn't change the fact that 5 hours later we arrived...10 hours after Amy and I had began our journey. It was time for some hard-core relaxation.
The first person I met was Ruba, originally from Syria but who now goes to school in Frankfurt. She is studying to be a doctor, and turned out to be an avid foosball player. Why she wanted me on her team I have no clue! (since I am generally known to be the WORST foosball player of all time...unless you're on the other team...just ask Amy about it.)

I then met some people from Belgium and then some from the Netherlands, and plenty more from Germany. It was very surprising to me how many people had moved to Germany for school or work...all in all 11 countries were represented by the 27 people there! How's that for diversity!

We spent time in small groups discussing our thoughts on the lessons, and to me this was one of the most beneficial times of the weekend. With only 6 people in our group we were able to share stories and specific thoughts of how to keep joy in our lives. How awesome that through such cultural variation the story of Christ's love and how it impacts every life is so similar. We had so much in common because of our citizenship in heaven!

Despite the moist conditions, Saturday night we had a bonfire! It was a time of praise as we sang songs that reminded me of my college days at OC. The one common language was English, so though we were deep in Germany I found myself singing to the Lord in my native language around a bonfire amidst a large group of Christians...such a treat considering that I thought I had left experiences like that behind when I moved here. God is good.

I was glad to hear that this isn't only an annual occasion, but that there will be a similar retreat planned for the spring. Amy and I have agreed to help with this and I hope to be reunited with many again then! What a wonderful taste of what heaven will be like. (maybe without all the "scheduled leisure").

Scardey Cat

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." -Psalm 23:4

Amy and I live half a block away from a lovely park called the Waldpark (translated: forest park). Although it is called a "park" it is actually more of a forest with paths through it, and it has been fun to go exploring to see where they lead. The kicker is, when Amy and I come home from somewhere, we have to walk through the Waldpark to get from the tram stop to our apartment. It is a wonderful walk during the day, but say, for example, we get home after dark...we still have to walk through the Waldpark (which is only dimly lit...enough to make scary shadows). I have never really been afraid of the dark, I mean, I got a little anxious when my mom would ask me to take out the trash after dark (keep in mind our trash cans at home are in the dim, back alley, far enough away that noone would hear my screams)...but I'm sure that's a common fear. Anyway, last night we were returning from a weekend retreat and our train got in well past dark, so we found ourselves walking through the Waldpark...a situation we were both dreading but neither wanted to admit to.

So here's how it started: we got off the tram at Lene Glatzer Strasse, our usual stop, but because of the late hour, our exhaustion from the retreat, and the fact that we quickly realized we needed to walk through the scary forest park, things started seeming creepy. We crossed the street and were joking about a past story of one of the missionaries here who got chased by a huge dog after dark in this same park when I glanced up and actually SAW a dog in our path! Ok so it turned out to be a bench, and after mentioning my silly mistake found out that Amy had thought the same thing. We were soon engulfed by the darkness and looming shadows and I was trying to play off like it was no big deal, but secretly was completely glad that Amy was with me... she could save me from large attacking dogs. Well things were going fine until, while I was looking down to watch where I was stepping, Amy gasped sharply, put her hand on my shoulder and jumped behind me, putting me into an immediate state of panic. I quickly looked up to see what caused Amy this intense reaction and noticed the silouettes of two small cats, running across the road about 50 meters ahead of us. My panic turned to disbelief that my fairly level-headed roommate, HIM partner, and so thought "protector" was scared so easily by a pair of small, probably cute (it was dark...I couldn't tell) domestic pets! My heart was now beating 3 times it's normal rate and sheesh it turned out to not be anything worth jumping about in the first place. Man-!

Well we laughed about that, especially Amy, who totally tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal (I'll be sure to remind her of how big a deal it "wasn't" occasionally). But not even a couple minutes later we heard this scraping sound behind us...and it was slowly getting louder, and closer...

Turning around we couldn't see anything, but we realized it was only a skateboarder. But in this case knowing didn't make it any better! Skateboards make a horrible sound when you're walking through a dark forest and already kinda freaked out, let me tell you. Needless to say, when it did FINALLY pass us it was a girl skateboarder...man did we feel stupid getting so creeped out by a harmless GIRL. I mean, if it was at least a boy we could have felt a little more at ease knowing our fear wasn't in vain. Pah.

So of course you know the end of this story, because I'm writing this now. We did eventually make it through the Waldpark despite all the odds stacked against us, and I feel like a much more rounded person after experiencing all that trauma. Oh and for the record, Amy loves cats. :)

Don't Breaker My Heart

"Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you." -Matthew 5:48 (MSG)

Ok whoa! Speaking of adjusting to a slightly different way of life over here, here's a good story.

So a new dryer was purchased for us right before we arrived in this apartment and both Amy and I were very excited to have soft, warm clothes (she had previously been hanging everything to dry). A couple nights ago we attempted to wash the towels and sheets that had accumulated, so after figuring out the washing machine (which was a feat in itself) and Amy realizing she had "washed" her clothes earlier that week in only fabric softener (she says she thought it looked like soap..?) I transferred the wet clothes into the new dryer. We had been warned that the wiring wasn't that great in the basement and although Amy hadn't had luck drying her newly softened(?) clothes a few days earlier, I was certain I could get it to work. So I closed the dryer door, adjusted the timer, and voila! It was working! For like 3 seconds. Then all the lights and sounds in the already creepy basement went out, and I was stuck, by myself, with only a cell phone for light (which, for the record isn't that great-!). Uhh it was a total dilemma and I decided to feel around in the dark and try to make my way to where we were shown the breaker was. So I flipped it back on, and much to my relief the lights came on and I could easily find my way back to the laundry room. Ok, take 2: I unplugged everything save the dryer and I think it might have stayed on for maybe 5 seconds this time before flipping the breaker, leaving me to retrace my steps to turn it back on. Not fun-! I finally decided to just hang the towels and sheets and started coming to grips that we may never have soft towels here in Germany and that was how it was going to be.

So that was a couple nights ago and I'm proud to say that last night I re-attempted to conquer the dryer situation and was this time armed with my trusty maglite (to dispell the darkness should it come). I brought a book and a blanket, and sat in the cold basement until all loads of towels and now also my clothes were washed and dryed. I didn't want it to blow the breaker as soon as I headed back upstairs or anything-! And keep in mind that the washer and dryer can't ever run at the same time. Or even be plugged in at the same time-! I think what I figured out is that it will never be figured out, and I should never count on dryer-dried clothes. Do Germans live like this all the time? I guess this is what adapting means...

(so if anyone wonders what I am doing with my time, chances are it's probably laundry...) :)

Establishing a Daily Routine

"If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse." -Proverbs 27:14

Wow, it's unbelievable that 2 weeks has come and gone...in some ways it's flown by but in others it feels like I've been away from everyone at home for much longer. Life is slowly starting to settle into a normal pace, and as Amy and I finish putting up pictures and try to patiently wait for our "Hausmeister" (apartment manager) to visit and hang our curtains (he insists on hanging anything to avoid us hitting wires) things are starting to seem like home. As I walk around the city it is still a bit surreal to think that I will be living here for 2 years and am not just staying for only a few weeks or months. I am looking forward to it and know the reality is sinking in one day at a time.

Did you notice the "verse of the day"? Well last weekend our Hausmeister and his family returned from a 3 week vacation, so the sounds of another family (with 2 small children I might add) were unfamiliar to me in our previously quiet and calm building. Since then, Amy and I have often heard the screaming and crying of both children (after Amy had commented on how nice it is to have thick walls, and we then concluded that it must be the floor that is not thick or insulated at all) and although they live directly below us, in the middle of the day it doesn't bother me at all but just serves as a reminder that we are not alone in this building. However, this morning as both of us were sleeping soundly in our comfortable, warm beds, we suddenly awoke to the alarm clock type sounds permeating the building. It was not the middle of the day! And after a tiring week our hopes of sleeping in had vanished. All attempts to roll over and return to the land of slumber failed and we both reluctantly got up and started the day. Needless to say today hasn't been a bad day by any means and I think Amy and I are well on our way to becoming flexible, adaptable missionaries. :)

So it's been so long since I last wrote about life here that I should probably add a bit about what's been going on in the last week and a half. Well most importantly I think we have conquered the fruitfly infestation of our kitchen. What was this, you wonder? See garbage here isn't just garbage, it is either paper, plastic or food (I know you're wondering about all the other normal, day to day items that don't seem to fit in any of these categories, and believe me it's a constant dilemma for both Amy and I) and trash cans are conveniently made with all 3 categories seperated. The problem is that as food is prepared, consumed, and discarded, and then sits in an open trash can (there is a lid but it is by no means air-tight) it somehow breeds multitudes of fruitflies. So after much research and study (ie. I asked a couple ladies in the church) we have since changed our ways and now have a completely seperate, enclosed food-trash recepticle which has proved miraculous in diminishing the density of small, annoying flies. One challenge down!

Amy and I also attended our first Dresden ballet at the beautiful Semperoper (Opera House). We managed to get some really inexpensive yet great seats because we bought them 10 minutes before the show started. It was very entertaining watching Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" ballet-style...but all those men in tights still made me a little uneasy-!
Much of last weekend and the beginning of this week was spent acquiring the smaller necessities for our apartment, and trips around town to different stores take an unexpected amount of time due to our mode of transportation. Not to mention the lingering reminder that whatever we buy has to be taken on the tram and then carried home and cannot just be easily thrown into a car trunk and unloaded there! What a different mindset. The missionaries here, the Carrolls, did bring their car when we bought our closet at Ikea, so thankfully that was one thing we didn't have to squeeze onto the tram with. And it's been wonderful to unload our clothes into a more permanent closet than just our suitcases sprawled about. Now to find a place to hide the empty suitcases until it's time to leave!

Amazingly, we also made a trip to Walmart last week! WALMART! I thought of all things I wouldn't find in Germany, Walmart would be at the top. But we made the long bus ride, even taking a "Walmart bus" the last bit of the way, and then stood at the door of Dresden's very own Walmart Supercenter. The Germans made it their own by adding a cafeteria, and also making a second floor on part of it. The prices were unbelievable and Amy and I even scored a couple of rugs for 1 and 2 euros each. Talk about a deal! I finally knew I was really in Walmart when I saw a whole row of employees sitting in the cafeteria with the blue vests on that said "Wilkommen bei Walmart" (Welcome to Walmart) on the back...it's the real deal, translated into German!
I feel like I've talked a lot about seemingly meaningless things, but to sum up what it's been like here all I can say is that I'm still figuring that out. Each day presents new cultural challenges, the most obvious and recurring being the language. Most days I jump on a tram or bus to maybe go somewhere in particular but to mostly become familiar with this city, something I have been reassured will take time. Everytime I go out I see something I hadn't noticed before and although I am looking forward to feeling at home here I hope no matter how familiar things get I can always find something new to remind me what a special place this is. I can't believe I'm living in Europe!

Settling In

"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind." -1 Peter 3:8

The people here are so sweet! Germans have a reputation of being very hospitable and I have experienced that here. One lady in particular, Marion, has had 2 gatherings at her home since I arrived and her warmth just overflows when everyone is there. She prepares so much food and offers every type of drink... it seems like she rarely sits still. And ironically she used to live in Edmonton, where I just moved from! She worked there for a year and since returning to Germany has become a Christian. I am looking forward to getting to know her and the rest of the Christians here.

Amy and I have worked hard at adding our personal touches to our apartment. We have been blessed to "inherit" all the furniture we need from the Stoltes, a family who recently moved back to the States. In our main apartment we have a kitchen, large bedroom, and winter garden (a small room with lots of windows and typically filled with plants...similar to a porch or patio but is enclosed), and just across the hall we have more of a living room, with couches and a tv complete with a VHS player (compatible with videos from Canada and the US). It is a perfect size space for the 2 of us and we look forward to hosting people here soon. We have yet to get a closet, however, so we are currently living out of our suitcases clothes-wise. Hopefully we will find one by the end of the week and that will help alot in feeling settled...we can put the suitcases away! We are also planning to buy some fabric for curtains, but other than that we are very comfortable here. We even have a pull out couch if anyone wants to visit for a few days....;)

On Monday Amy and I began riding bikes around instead of walking. After a few days of walking around, what a blessing it was to ride instead! We had been walking the 25-30 minutes to the church building, and 20 minutes to the grocery store...but now with bikes it is so much more convenient and fun! The only downside is my sore butt, but it's a small price to pay for the luxury of speed!

Arrival in Dresden

What a crazy past couple days! I am finally here in Dresden after a whole lot of traveling, and I'm tired!

So, where to start...well I said tearful goodbyes and boarded the plane at about 8pm on Thursday, and my first experience of German culture hit me as I got onto the plane. I had waited in the airport terminal until my row was called, and it so happened it was in the last group called to board. There was noone left in the terminal when I went to board, and this should have been my first clue that something was different! Well, I walked down the long tunnel to the plane and as soon as I boarded EVERYONE looked up and gave me this look of disgust. Ok maybe not everyone...ok maybe just one or two people...but it felt like everyone was glaring at me as I feebly lifted my heavy carry on bags into the overhead compartment. No kidding, I was practically the very last person to board the huge 777 Airbus, and that's a lot of people! It then dawned on me that from my limited experience with Germans I knew they are very punctual people, and I guess they just couldn't get on that plane fast enough. I hadn't even left Edmonton and I was already feeling foreign-!

It was a good plane ride...long, but good. I watched 2 of the 3 films and that passed the time very quickly. The hardest part I started to notice about the jetlag was eating times--they fed us at like 11pm, and again at 430am. My head might be able to adjust quickly to 8 hours difference, but my stomach has a much harder time!

Arriving in Frankfurt presented me with another cultural experience, although this time it wasn't as surprising. After clearing customs it was time to collect luggage at the carousel, but as I turned the corner into the baggage claim area, I noticed that all 200 people that were on my flight were now crowding around the carousel (which wasn't nearly big enough for all 200 to stand around). Man! So now I had to remember possibly one of the longest German words and assertively announce "Entschuldigung!" (excuse me) when I recognized my bags...actually I should say, when I bent down and found a crack in the crowd big enough for me to peer through and see something that maybe might look similar to my bags...what a challenge. Welcome to Germany!

So the last leg of this incredible journey was meeting up with Randy Carroll, my supervisor and a current missionary in Dresden. He was a wonderful picker-upper and was waiting right outside the doors, and although I had never met him, I recognized him right away from pictures. We took my cart overloaded with luggage and headed for the train station, which OF COURSE was not in the same terminal of the airport. That would have been too easy.

After numerous escalators and elevators and then unloading, juggling, pulling, pushing, lifting and reloading the luggage, we made it on an earlier train to Dresden than expected. We sat on the floor since the reservations Randy had made were for a later train and we decided against waiting another 2 hours. I wanted to see Dresden!

It was a wonderful reunion with Amy in the Dresden Hauptbahnhof (train station) and crazy to think that it had been 4 months since we had seen each other. I said goodbye to Randy for the night and Amy and I took a taxi (it was a Mercedes!) to our new apartment. At 9pm, 17 hours after my journey started, I was finally where I would call home for the next 2 years...what a great feeling after such a long and exhausting day.